“I might not be pretty, but I fuck like the government”
"I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like the government" (or "I may be ugly, but I fuck like the government") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I may…
“I miss being able to raw dog oxygen”
"Raw dog" usually means sexual intercourse without a condom. The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in requirements to wear face masks, and "raw dog oxygen" (or…
“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of an enemy”
Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929- 1968) gave the sermon "Loving Your Enemies" in Ebenezer Baptist Church on Sunday morning, August 12, 1962: "The process of returning hate for hate only…
“I never got a job from a poor person”
"I never got a job from a poor man/person" has been a popular conservative saying. The saying means that people who have money are job creators, and that overtaxing them and…
“I never promised you a rose garden”
"I never promised you a rose garden" is a saying that was popularized as the title of a 1964 book by Hannah Green, the pen name of Brooklyn-born author Joanne Greenberg. The novel is…
“I never thought ‘I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 10-foot pole’ would become a national policy”
"I wouldn't touch him/her with a ten-foot pole" was a common expression of avoidance in the United States in the 20th century. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created social…
“I never thought ‘I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole’ would become a national policy”
"I wouldn't touch him/her with a ten-foot pole" was a common expression of avoidance in the United States in the 20th century. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created social…
“I never vote for anybody; I always vote against”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikiquote: W. C. FieldsW. C. Fields (29 January 1880 – 25 December 1946), born William Claude Dukenfield, was an American Actor and Comedian. Sourced. I never voted for…
“I once knew a bailiff who moonlighted as a bartender. He served subpoena coladas”
Piña colada (a cocktail) has nothing to do with subpoenas, but there are lawyer jokes. "Am I a lawyer? Lemme see ... I failed my bar exam (added too much rum to the subpoena colada), so the…
“I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy”
"I paid my taxes, and all I got was this stupid oligarchy" is a saying that has been printed on an ecard. "My parent went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" is a…
“I passed 3 liquor stores, 4 drug stores, 5 vape shops, and 9 fast food joints on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk…”
"I passed 6 liquor stores, 8 vape shops and 3 cannabis shops on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk because the government cares about our health!" is a saying -- with several…
“I passed 6 liquor stores, 8 vape shops and 3 cannabis shops on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk…”
"I passed 6 liquor stores, 8 vape shops and 3 cannabis shops on my way to pick up my illegal raw milk because the government cares about our health!" is a saying -- with several…
“I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline. A kid answered, called me a…” (joke)
A "Child Abuse Hotline" is usually to report about abuse to children, but a joke has it that the hotline is to get abuse from children. "I phoned the Child Abuse Hotline. A kid…
“I pledge a legion to the flag” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I pledge a lesion to the flag” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I pledge a lesson to the frog” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)
The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…
“I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World Health Organization…”
A Covid-19 parody of the Pledge of Allegiance has been shown on many images: "I pledge allegiance to the mask of the World Health Organization, and to the United Nations, for which it stands,…
“I pray to the saint of ups and downs. St. Francis of a See-Saw”
Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone (1181-1226) is known as St. Francis of Assisi. There is no St. Francis of a See-Saw, but there are jokes. "I pray to the saint of ups and downs. St. Francis of…
“I prefer my guns the way Democrats prefer their voters: undocumented and untraceable”
"Undocumented" guns have been compared to "undocumented" Americans. "RT @frontalboundary: My #guns are not #illegal they are #undocumented. #NRA #Pelosi #Obama #Biden"…
“I question the timing” (IQTT)
"I question the timing" means that someone suspects political motivation behind an action. For example, a politician in New York City used to have high publicity porn busts right before…