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November 7, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I just need to see a few more campaign ads and then I think I’ll be ready to make a final decision”

"I just need to see a few more campaign ads and then I think I'll be ready to make a final decision. Said no one ever" is a jocular political saying that has been printed on many…

May 25, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I just paid my car registration. The roads will be fixed any day now”

"I just paid my car registration. The roads will be fixed any day now" and "Just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now" are jocular anti-government sayings that…

November 6, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by discussing politics over Thanksgiving dinner”

“Never talk about religion or politics” is a popular etiquette rule for family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. A jocular saying printed on many images is to do the opposite of…

February 19, 2026
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I just want to live in a world where I don’t end up saying, ‘What the hell is wrong with people?’ every time I leave my house”

"I just want to live in a world where I don't end up saying, 'What the hell is wrong with people?' every time I leave my/the house" is a saying that has been printed on…

February 19, 2026
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to say ‘What the hell is wrong with these people?’ every time I leave my house”

"I just want to live in a world where I don't end up saying, 'What the hell is wrong with people?' every time I leave my/the house" is a saying that has been printed on…

June 8, 2019
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I keep asking what LGBTQ stands for, but I never get a straight answer”

Many people are confused by initials such as "LGBT" and "LGBTQ." A joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 28, 2019: "Every time I ask someone what the acronym LGBTQ…

November 2, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I know how to load more than a washer & dryer” (pro-gun slogan)

"I know how to load more than a washer & dryer" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed on many shirts. "Dear guys, I know how to load more than the washer and dryer.…

October 24, 2015
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I know it’s not true, but let’s make the sonafabitch deny it” (a loaded political question)

A classic political story involves a loaded political question. A politician tells his campaign manager to spread the rumor that an opponent has sex with pigs. "We can't do that. It…

February 21, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I know they didn’t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax return”

Most people don't like to pay taxes, but they want to comply. "I know they didn't ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my late tax return" was posted on Facebook by…

March 3, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I led the pigeons to the flag” (Pledge of Allegiance mondegreen)

The Pledge of Allegiance of the United States has been recited by millions of school children, and many of them say the wrong words. These mishearings or misinterpretations are called…

July 4, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like how on cop cars, ‘protect and serve’ is in quotes, like they’re being sarcastic”

"I like how on cop cars, 'To protect and serve' is in quotes, like they're being sarcastic" was posted on X/Twitter by American comedian and writer Neal Brennan on December…

July 4, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like how on cop cars, ‘To protect and serve’ is in quotes, like they’re being sarcastic”

"I like how on cop cars, 'To protect and serve' is in quotes, like they're being sarcastic" was posted on X/Twitter by American comedian and writer Neal Brennan on December…

October 5, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like my government like feminists like their men. Weakened to the point of only being able to perform basic functions”

An anti-govenment meme was posted on Facebook by Nashville Tea Party on June 8, 2019: "I LIKE MY GOVERNMENT LIKE FEMINISTS LIKE THEIR MEN WEAKENED TO THE POINT OF ONLY BEING ABLE TO PERFORM…

March 22, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like my guns like Democrats like their voters: undocumented”

"Undocumented" guns have been compared to "undocumented" Americans. "RT @frontalboundary: My #guns are not #illegal they are #undocumented. #NRA #Pelosi #Obama #Biden"…

March 27, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like my guns like I like my immigrants: undocumented”

"I like my guns like I like my immigrants; Undocumented" was posted on Twitter by END QUALIFIED IMMUNITY 🏴 on August 5, 2015. "I LIKE MY GUNS LIKE I LIKE MY IMMGRANTS:…

May 2, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like my women how I like my Coronavirus…” (NSFW joke)

A joke about the coronavirus (COVID-19) was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 12, 2020: "I like my women how I like my covid19 and easily spread." A slightly different version was posted…

May 1, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I like my women how I like my Covid…” (NSFW joke)

A joke about the coronavirus (COVID-19) was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 12, 2020: "I like my women how I like my covid19 and easily spread." A slightly different version was posted…

March 11, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I literally wrote a book to warn you guys about this.—Ayn Rand”

"I literally wrote a book to warn you guys about this. -- George Orwell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. English author George Orwell (1903-1950) didn't…

March 11, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I literally wrote a book to warn you guys about this.—George Orwell”

"I literally wrote a book to warn you guys about this. -- George Orwell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. English author George Orwell (1903-1950) didn't…

July 17, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“I live in a free country. I have all the licenses and permits to prove it”

"'I am a free citizen and I have all the licenses and permits to prove it.' http://bit.ly/uBYlt via @addthis" was posted on Twitter by Stephen on June 12, 2009. The point of…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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