“The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands”
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/NUCLEAR_WALRUS September 12, 2013The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/jazzguitarma April 12, 2022Did you…
“The gastric band: waist knot, want not”
A laparoscopic adjustable gastric band is a type of knot placed around the top of the stomach to reduce food consumption. "I have no desire to have a gastric band fitted. My motto: Waist knot?…
“The gentleman will take a chance” (eating hash)
Hash has long been called "mystery" in restaurant slang. What is it? Where does it come from? An old joke has a customer ordering hash, and the waiter shouts to the kitchen, "The…
“The gentrification of juice into mocktails is really starting to piss me off…. That’s a $18 Capri Sun”
A "mocktail" is a non-alcoholic cocktail. It should be priced like juice, but it's often priced like a regular cocktail. "If you’re going to put mocktails on your menu (which…
“The good part of a cucumber is the bad part of a watermelon”
Cucumbers have been compared (unfavorably) to watermelons. "The best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on July 19,…
“The gravy boat implies the existence of a mashed potato sea”
Gravy boats (sauce boats) are not boats that sail on water, but there are jokes. "If you had enough gravy boats would you have a gravy navy?" was posted on X/Twitter by John…
“The greatest thing since sliced bread”
Things have often been hyped as "the best/greatest thing" since fire or the wheel. "The greatest thing since radio" was a popular saying in the 1930s and 1940s. An advertisement…
“The greatest trick the devil ever played was taking the yolks out of six hard boiled eggs…”
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist" is an old saying. There are jokes about deviled eggs that use this saying. "The greatest…
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was cutting these boiled eggs in half…”
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist" is an old saying. There are jokes about deviled eggs that use this saying. "The greatest…
“The greatest trick the refrigerator manufacturers ever pulled…” (crisper drawer)
A refrigerator's "crisper drawer" is designed to have a different level of humidity to keep fresh the fruits and vegetables stored there. Many people believe that the drawer…
“The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well. he called it a receipt…whatever”
"I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well he called it a receipt...whatever" is a jocular drinking saying that has been…
“The guy who discovered gluten intolerance has died. The family has requested no flours at the funeral”
"Flour" for "flower" is a popular pun, and this appears in a gluten intolerance joke. "Sad to hear the discoverer of wheat intolerance has died. The family has requested no…
“The guy who discovered milk… What was he doing with that cow?”
Many people wonder about the first person who discovered milk from a cow. "#randomthought....to the guy who invented milk...WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING WITH THAT COW! O_o" was posted on…
“The guy who stole all the chocolate is now a fudgitive”
"Fudgitive" (fudge + fugitive) is a portmanteau that has been used in some jokes. "The Fudgitive #oneletteroffmovies" was posted on Twitter by Terry Bull on October 24, 2009.…
“The hardest part about being vegan is waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the almonds”
"The hardest part about being vegan is having to wake up at 5am to milk all the almonds" is a jocular line about almond milk that was posted on Twitter on May 24, 2013. "The hardest…
“The hardest part of making skimmed milk is throwing the cows across the lake”
"Skimmed milk" has nothing to do with "stone skimming," but there are jokes. "The hardest part of making skimmed milk is throwing the cows across the lake" was posted…
“The hardest part of saving the second half of the sandwich is knowing it’s just right over there”
A sandwich is often cut in half, and people have several feelings about the second half of the sandwich. "The Second half of a sandwich is always the best piece" was posted on X/Twitter…
“The hardest thing about carving a pumpkin these days is finding a newspaper to spread out on the table”
Before carving a pumpkin, people usually had covered a table with old newspapers, but who has old newspapers in this digital age? This was posted on X/Twitter by Simon Holland on October 25, 2017:…
“The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread”
"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread/roll" is a jocular saying that appears on many collections of one-liners. The Washingtonian of 1982 (the Google…
“The heels of the bread are to be eaten last. You eat them as punishment for not buying more bread”
Some people like the end of a loaf of bread (called the "heel"), but many people do not. This was posted on X/Twitter by Mike Primavera on March 2, 2023: "The heels of the bread are…