“What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?”/“Diabetes.”
An anti-joke about the number 3.14 ("pi") was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 13, 2020: Q: What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?A: Diabetes. “What do you get if you eat…
“What do you get when you eat bad pizza?”/“Pizzarrhea.”
A "pizzeria" is a pizza restaurant. "Pizzarrhea" (pizza + diarrhea) is a jocular portmanteau word about getting "pizza shits." "What do you get when you eat a…
“What do you get when you eat uranium?”/“Atomic Ache.”
"Atomic ache" sounds a bit like "a tummy ache." "Eating uranium can cause atomic ache" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups: rec.humor on April 22, 1991.…
“What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?”/“The saddest vegetable: a melonccoli.”
The word "melancholy" is not a food portmanteau of "melon" and broccoli," but there are jokes. "Melancholy. A cross between a melon and a broccoli. At least…
“What do you get when you mix beans and onions?”/“Tear gas.”
It's common knowledge that onions make one cry and that beans give one gas, leading to the joke: Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas. The joke has been cited in print…
“What do you get when you mix holy water with vodka?”/“The holy spirit.”
A religious riddle is: Q: What do you get when you mix holy water with vodka?A: The holy spirit. "MIXED JOKES: what do you get when you mix Holy Water with whiskey? The Holy spirit" was…
“What do you get when you mix laxatives with holy water?”/“A religious movement.”
A religious riddle is: Q: What do you get when you mix laxatives with holy water?A: A religious movement. Forms of the joke have been cited in print since at least 1986. “What do you get when you…
“What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?”/“Ham boogers.”
"Hamburgers" should not be confused with "ham boogers." but there are puns. This was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on November 19, 1992: Q: What do you get when a pig picks…
“What do you get when you play tug-of-war with a pig?”/“Pulled pork.”
A riddle about pulled pork is: Q: What do you get when you play tug-of-war with a pig?A: Pulled pork. "tug of war pig!? Your guess equals mine LOL RT @GsusShuttlez: @FLashY i never understood…
“What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?”/“Hot cross bunnies.”
A popular riddle about hot cross buns is: Q: What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?A: Hot cross bunnies. The joke was published in Boys' Life magazine in 1976 and is…
“What do you get when you put cabbage in a wood chipper?”/“Slaw dust!”
Coleslaw (made from finely shredded raw cabbage) has had some "slaw dust" (slaw + sawdust) jokes. "Q: What do you get when you cut a cabbage with a band saw? A: Slaw dust" was…
“What do you get when you put guacamole on a BLT?”/“An LGBT.” (Gay BLT)
BLT and LGBT aren't related terms, but there's a joke: Q: What do you get when you put guacamole on a BLT?A: An LGBT. "Would that be a gay BLT that only likes other BLT's?"…
“What do you get when you take green cheese & divide its circumference by its diameter?”/“Moon pi.”
A math riddle about the number pi is: Q: What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?A: Moon pi. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003.…
“What do you give a dog with a fever?”/“Mustard—it’s the best thing for a hot dog!”
A "hot" dog riddle is: Q: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard. It's the best thing for a hot dog! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1978. 25 February 1978,…
“What do you give a dog with a fever?”/“Mustard. It’s the best thing for a hot dog.”
Is a dog with a high temperature a "hot" dog? A popular joke is: Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?A: Mustard. It's the best thing for a hot dog. The joke was printed in…
“What do you give to a sick lemon?”/“Lemon aid.”
A riddle about lemonade is: Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?A: Lemon aid. The joke was posted to the newsgroup eunet.jokes on February 27, 1994. Google Groups: eunet.jokesa joke on…
“What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?”
"Baguette" is not French for "female bag," but there are jokes. "just learned a new word--douche baguette- for when there exists a female douche bag lol" was posted on…
“What do you need to make dill bread?”/“Dill dough.”
A risqué riddle about dill bread is: Q: What do you need to make dill bread?A: Dill dough (dildo). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1990. Similar "dill" and…
“What do you say to a naked pig?”/“I never sausage a body.”
A pig riddle is: Q: What do you say to a naked pig?A: "I never sausage a body." The "sausage"/"saw such" pun was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on February 23,…
“What do you say to a vegetarian in a coma?”/“You are what you eat.”
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826), in the book Physiologie du Gout (1825), wrote "Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are," often interpreted as "you are what…