“The helper in me acknowledges the hamburger in you”
Hamburger Helper is a boxed food product manufactured that is combined with browned ground beef. The "helper" part is sometimes satirized in mock inspirational sayings. "The helper…
“The high for today was 54. The low was eating an entire batch of cookies”
A food joke starts with the weather -- "The high for today was..." The next line refers to unhealthy eating: "The low was..." The many forms of the saying have been printed on…
“The high for today was 75. The low was when I ate a whole sleeve of Thin Mints”
A food joke starts with the weather -- "The high for today was..." The next line refers to unhealthy eating: "The low was..." The many forms of the saying have been printed on…
“The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless”
"The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless" (or "The hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose") is a saying that has been printed on many images. These…
“The human body is 80% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety”
"The human body is 70%/80%/90% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Människan består av 70% vatten. Vi…
“The human body is roughly 60% water. I’m not fat, I’m flooded”
"The human body is roughly 60% water. I'm not fat, I'm flooded" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "apparently we are 90% water, so I'm not…
“The ideal man doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t exist”
"The ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“The Indian food delivery guy is a currier”
Does delivering curry make one a "currier" ("curry" + "courier")? "I'm going to open a bike-delivery Indian restaurant and call it Currier" was posted…
“The inevitable problem with meal prep is having so many damn things to wash”
Many people prepare meals ("meal prep") several days in advance. However, they sometimes want to eat it all right away. Also, sometimes when the day arrives to eat the meal, they're…
“The Internet is fun because you can post about blueberry muffins and somehow end up in a fight”
On social media, people can take offense where none was intended. "The Internet is fun because you can post about blueberry muffins and somehow end up in a fight" was posted on Facebook…
“The inventor of gravy granules has had the freedom of the city bisto-ed on him”
Bisto is a well-known brand of gravy. It should not be confused with "bestow," but there are jokes. "My gran's collection of antique gravy boats were Bistoed upon me #1PUN"…
“The inventor of Horlicks is a malty millionaire”
Horlicks is a British sweet malted milk hot drink powder. Ovaltine is a brand of milk flavoring product made with malt extract. "Malty millionaire" is a pun on…
“The inventor of Pop Rocks: Sugar isn’t enough, it should also detonate”
Pop Rocks is a sugar candy that creates bubbles as it dissolves. "The inventor of Pop Rocks: Sugar isn't enough, it should also detonate" was posted on Twitter by Dan Regan on June…
“The Jägermeister stag is my spirit animal”
Jägermeister is a German digestif. The Jägermeister label on bottles shows a glowing Christian cross seen between the antlers of a stag. "My spirit animal is the stag. I call him…
“The job requires me to get a potato clock” (get up at eight o’clock)
An old joke has a person seek to purchase a "potato clock" because he or she was told to "get up at eight o'clock." The mondegreen has been cited in print since at least…
“The key to a happy life is to drink coffee before work and avoid talking to morons”
"The key to a happy life is to drink coffee before work and avoid talking to morons" and "The secret to a happy life is to drink coffee and avoid talking to morons" are coffee…
“The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations or learn to drink”
"The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations or learn to drink" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The key to getting along with people…
“The key to happiness is as simple as A-B-C: Always Brew Coffee”
"The key/secret to happiness is as easy/simple as A-B-C. Always Brew Coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "ABCs of life. Always Be Creating. Always Brew…
“The key to happiness is to find a woman who can cook, clean and is great in bed” (joke)
A joke is told about happiness: "The key to happiness is to find a woman who can cook, clean and is great in bed -- and it's important that these three women never meet." The joke --…
“The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them ‘Scraps’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused some food shortages. This joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 21, 2020: "The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them 'Scraps'.…