“The only stock options I have are chicken and beef”
"The only stock options I have are chicken and beef" is a jocular one-line saying. "Just padded my stock options. Now I got both chicken and beef stocks" was posted on Twitter…
“The only technique I’ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming”
"The only technique I’ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. The…
“The only thing a vegan can kill is a conversation”
British-Irish comedian Jimmy Carr told a joke about vegans on the television British game show A League of Their Own on October 3, 2019. "'You’re a vegan aren’t you, Romesh?' ...…
“The only thing a vegan kills is a conversation”
British-Irish comedian Jimmy Carr told a joke about vegans on the television British game show A League of Their Own on October 3, 2019. "'You’re a vegan aren’t you, Romesh?' ...…
“The only thing I know for sure about today is coffee. Everything else is just wild speculation”
"The only thing I know for sure about today is coffee. Everything else is just wild speculation" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "'The only thing I know…
“The only thing I throwback on a Thursday is a glass of wine”
"The only thing I throwback on (a) Thursday is a glass of wine" (or "The only thing I throwback on Thursdays is a glass of wine") is a jocular saying about "Throwback…
“The only thing vegans kill is a conversation”
British-Irish comedian Jimmy Carr told a joke about vegans on the television British game show A League of Their Own on October 3, 2019. "'You’re a vegan aren’t you, Romesh?' ...…
“The only thing we need from animals is forgiveness”
"The only thing we need from animals is forgiveness" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. That is, we do not need food from animals. "The only thing we need from…
“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook”
"The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook" is a much-cited food quotation that has been attributed to television chef Julia Child (1912-2004). The…
“The only way for baked evils to triumph is for baked goods to not be eaten”
"Good" is the opposite of "bad" and "evil." There are "baked goods," but there are no "baked bads" or "baked evils." "Then tell me…
“The only way to lose weight by drinking green tea is to go to the mountain and pick it yourself”
It's sometimes said that green tea helps in weight loss. "The only way to lose weight by drinking green tea is to go to the mountain and pick it yourself" is a jocular one-line…
“The opposite of Dr Pepper is Patient Salt”
There is a Dr Pepper carbonated soft drink, and some people think there should be a "Patient Salt." "'I will be Dr. Pepper and you can be Patient Salt.' -- Ethan" was…
“The opposite of Flavortown is Blandberg”
"Flavortown" (food with lots of flavor) is a favorite expression of Guy Fieri, host of the television show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Are there other food municipalities? Bland City:…
“The opposite of Flavortown is Blandland”
"Flavortown" (food with lots of flavor) is a favorite expression of Guy Fieri, host of the television show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Are there other food municipalities? Bland City:…
“The other day, I saw a guy dragging a clam on a leash…” (joke)
"Muscle" shouldn't be confused with "mussel," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Barry Mulligan on February 12, 2021: "The other day I saw a guy…
“The other day, someone told me that I look good with a salt-and-pepper beard. I took that as a condiment”
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…
“The party always ends up in the kitchen”
"The party always ends up in the kitchen" is an old adage that suggests that good entertaining often involves food and drink. "I wonder why good parties always end up in the…
“The party’s not over till you smile for the mugshot”
"The party's not over till you smile for the mugshot" is a jocular line that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, ecards and posters. "The party isnt over til…
“The patron saint of checking your bread rolls in the oven is St. John the Bap test”
"Bap" bread rolls have nothing to do with the biblical John the Baptist, but there are puns. "All of Jesus' breakfast rolls had first to be tasted by John the Bap Test" was…
“The people stand up for royalty. The queen sits down for royal tea”
"Royalty" sounds like "royal tea." A pun was posted on the website Pun of the Day and then on the newsgroup Google Groups: alt.humor.puns on September 19, 1999: "The people…