“The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless”
"The hours between coffee and wine really are pointless" (or "The hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose") is a saying that has been printed on many images. These…
“The human body is 80% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety”
"The human body is 70%/80%/90% water, so we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Människan består av 70% vatten. Vi…
“The human body is roughly 60% water. I’m not fat, I’m flooded”
"The human body is roughly 60% water. I'm not fat, I'm flooded" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "apparently we are 90% water, so I'm not…
“The ideal man doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t exist”
"The ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
“The Indian food delivery guy is a currier”
Does delivering curry make one a "currier" ("curry" + "courier")? "I'm going to open a bike-delivery Indian restaurant and call it Currier" was posted…
“The inventor of gravy granules has had the freedom of the city bisto-ed on him”
Bisto is a well-known brand of gravy. It should not be confused with "bestow," but there are jokes. "My gran's collection of antique gravy boats were Bistoed upon me #1PUN"…
“The inventor of Pop Rocks: Sugar isn’t enough, it should also detonate”
Pop Rocks is a sugar candy that creates bubbles as it dissolves. "The inventor of Pop Rocks: Sugar isn't enough, it should also detonate" was posted on Twitter by Dan Regan on June…
“The Jägermeister stag is my spirit animal”
Jägermeister is a German digestif. The Jägermeister label on bottles shows a glowing Christian cross seen between the antlers of a stag. "My spirit animal is the stag. I call him…
“The job requires me to get a potato clock” (get up at eight o’clock)
An old joke has a person seek to purchase a "potato clock" because he or she was told to "get up at eight o'clock." The mondegreen has been cited in print since at least…
“The key to a happy life is to drink coffee before work and avoid talking to morons”
"The key to a happy life is to drink coffee before work and avoid talking to morons" and "The secret to a happy life is to drink coffee and avoid talking to morons" are coffee…
“The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations or learn to drink”
"The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations or learn to drink" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "The key to getting along with people…
“The key to happiness is as simple as A-B-C: Always Brew Coffee”
"The key/secret to happiness is as easy/simple as A-B-C. Always Brew Coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "ABCs of life. Always Be Creating. Always Brew…
“The key to happiness is to find a woman who can cook, clean and is great in bed” (joke)
A joke is told about happiness: "The key to happiness is to find a woman who can cook, clean and is great in bed -- and it's important that these three women never meet." The joke --…
“The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them ‘Scraps’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused some food shortages. This joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 21, 2020: "The kids asked what was for dinner and I told them 'Scraps'.…
“The kitchen was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it”
"The/This kitchen was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it" and "My kitchen was clean last week. Sorry you missed it" are jocular sayings that have been printed on many images.…
“The last bite of a cookie isn’t really a bite because you don’t bite it”
"The last bite of a cookie isn’t really a bite because you don’t bite it, you just put it in your mouth" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on February 26, 2021. "Isn’t the…
“The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they’d turn over by themselves”
"The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they'd turn over by themselves" is frequently credited to American comedian and actor W. C. Fields (1880-1946), but only…
“The leaves are falling and the coffee is calling”
"Leaves are falling. Coffee is calling" is an autumn saying that has been printed on many images. "The Leaves Are Falling... My Coffee Is Calling!" (shown on an image) was…
“The leaves are falling. My coffee is calling”
"Leaves are falling. Coffee is calling" is an autumn saying that has been printed on many images. "The Leaves Are Falling... My Coffee Is Calling!" (shown on an image) was…
“The lid of the Dijon mustard came off inside our picnic basket. Now there’s Poupon everything”
"There is Poupon everything" -- a joke on "poop on everything" -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. Grey Poupon is a brand of Dijon mustard which originated in…