“If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen”

“If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen” is a humorous saying that’s been on bumper stickers since at least 2000. The comedian Bobby Ramsen told this joke to Parade Magazine in October 1962:
 
”I like it when my mother-in-law comes to sleep at our house. That’s the only time I have breakfast in bed. I sleep in the kitchen.”
 
The “Herman” comic strip by Jim Unger in November 1980 further popularized the joke line, with a character saying, “When I told him it would be nice to have my breakfast in bed once in a while, he told me to sleep in the kitchen.”
 
 
26 June 1951, Springfield (MA) Union. “On the Firing Line” by D.N.T., pg. 10, col. 3:
Breakfast in bed is going out of style, says Margaret Weil of INS in a story from New York. She describes furniture especially designed for having breakfast in the bedroom, but personally we’d rather sleep in the kitchen.
 
7 October 1962, Oregonian (Portland, OR), “My Favorite Jokes” by Bobby Ramsen, Parade Magaine, pg. 27, col. 1:
I like it when my mother-in-law comes to sleep at our house. That’s the only time I have breakfast in bed. I sleep in the kitchen.
 
25 November 1980, Seattle (WA) Daily Times, “Herman” comic, pg. B6, col. 1:
“When I told him it would be nice to have my breakfast in bed once in a while, he told me to sleep in the kitchen.”
   
Google News Archive
30 September 1985, Milwaukee (WI) Sentinel, pt. 1, pg. 8, col. 6:
“I said I wanted breakfast in bed. She told me to go sleep in the kitchen.”
—Prof. Samuel Betances
 
13 July 2000, Lethbridge (Alberta, Canada) Herald, “Let’s hope the traffic jam was worth the long wait” by Al Beeber, pg. C2, col. 5:
HAVE A LAUGH: From a retired former colleague in Prince Edward Island come the following bumper stickers for women, none of which I’m sure her husband lets her adorn their car with:
(...)
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
   
Google Books
Chocolate for a Woman’s Dreams:
77 Stories to Treasure as You Make Your Wishes Come True
By Kay Allenbaugh
New York, NY: Simon & Schuster
2001
Pg. 105:
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
 
Time magazine
Health: Kirk Douglas, A Lust For Life
By Andrea Sachs Monday, Feb. 18, 2002
(...)
How did your stroke affect your relationship with your wife?
 
Well, I tell you, my wife was fantastic. The meaning of tough love comes from my wife. [I would say,] “Honey, I would like to have breakfast in bed tomorrow.” [She would reply,] “Breakfast in bed? Sleep in the kitchen.”
 
OCLC WorldCat record
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen
Author: Dave Meurer
Publisher: Colorado Springs, Colo. : Life Journey, ©2005.
Edition/Format:  Book : English