“Having a beer for breakfast is totally acceptable in an airport”
People usually don't drink beer for breakfast, but that's acceptable at airports. Many people are on vacation and are coming from different time zones. "Kicking off my vacation in…
“he problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven’t had any yet”
TwitterSarah Brodeur@sarahjbrodeurthe problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven't had any yet8:30 AM · Aug 7, 2011·Twitter Web Client TwitterGabriela…
“He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious, I said he had no proof”
"He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious, I said he had no proof" -- non-alcoholic wine has, literally, zero proof -- is a wine joke that was posted on The Majestic Wine Blog on…
“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’”
A top British pun (confusing "condiment" with "compliment") has been cited in print since at least 2001: "He said: 'You remind me of a pepper pot' I said:…
“He went on a cheese diet in order to cheddar few pounds”
"Cheddar" sounds a bit like "shed a." "He went on a cheese diet in order to cheddar few pounds. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup alt.callahans on July 27,…
“He who eats ice cream in a car is a sundae driver”
A "Sunday driver" is someone who drives slowly (and often poorly), There are several puns about a "sundae driver." An early pun involves a driver who eats ice cream. "A…
“He who goes to bed hungry dreams of pancakes”
"He who goes to bed hungry dreams of pancakes" is often listed as a Maltese proverb. The saying has been cited in print since at least 2006. Google BooksThe Little Black Book of…
“He who indulges, bulges”
"He who indulges, bulges" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on several gift items. Eleanor S. J. Rydberg first wrote the line for The Saturday Evening Post, published on…
“He’s making a list, chicken and rice…”
"Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" (1934) is a popular Christmas song, but not everyone knows the lyrics. "He's making a list and checking it twice" is sometimes given…
“He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front”
"He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front" was said by American comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) about New York-born comedian and actor…
“He/She makes coffee nervous” (a very energetic and nervous person)
Coffee has the well known effect of making people nervous, but an old joke reverses the process. "Ralph Font: 'I know a night club owner (Dario) who's so fidgety he makes coffee…
“Healthy eating is a sign of self-respect”
"Healthy eating is a sign of self-respect" is a food saying that has been printed on several images. "Healthy eating is a sign of loving your body" was posted on Twitter on May…
“Hear about the narcoleptic Chinese cook? He was always sleep wokking”
"Wok" can sound like "walk." Some people experience sleepwalking, and "sleep-wokking" has become a joke. "While we’re talking about sleep.. I woke up this…
“Hear me out: a keg but for iced coffee”
"Hear me out: a keg but for iced coffee" is a suggestion that has been printed on many images. "A keg but for iced coffee" was posted on X/Twitter by Jennifer Baxley• on March…
“Heart attack in a bag”
"Heart attack in a bag" is a meal loaded with potentially artery-clogging food. "Heart attack in a bag" is cited in print since at least January 1995 and first described fast…
“Heart attack in a bottle” (“Heart attack in a can”)
"Heart attack in a bottle" (or "heart attack in a can") is a product loaded with potential artery-cloggers. "Heart attack in a can" is cited in print since at least…
“Heart attack on a bun” (“Cholesterol on a bun”)
"Heart attack on a bun" (or "cholesterol on a bun") is a dish loaded with potentially artery-clogging food. "Heart attack on a bun" is cited in print since at least…
“Heart attack on a plate” (“Cholesterol on a plate”)
"Heart attack on a plate" (or "cholesterol on a plate") is a dish loaded with potentially artery-clogging food. "Heart attack on a plate" is cited in print since at…
“Heart attack on a rack” (biscuits and gravy)
"Heart attack on a bun” (a nickname for biscuits and gravy) is a dish loaded with potentially artery-clogging food. "Heart attack on a rack: biscuits and gravy" was printed in The…
“Heart attack on a stick” (“Cholesterol on a stick”)
"Heart attack on a stick" (or "cholesterol on a stick) is a dish loaded with potentially artery-clogging food. "Heart attack on a stick" is cited in print since at least…