“There’s no future in becoming a historian”
Historians study the past. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on October 26, 2018: "There's no future in becoming a historian." “Confucius Say—Student who study history,…
“There’s nothing like the sound of a child’s laughter to remind you that your dorm is haunted”
A child's laughter is usually a pleasant sound, but sometimes it's not so pleasant. A joke was posted on Twitter by Howard Mittelmark on February 22, 2015: "There is nothing like the…
“THEY call it ‘summer break.’ TEACHERS call it ‘recovery’”
"To clarify: Teachers are not 'off for the summer,' they are 'in recovery'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "To clarify: Teachers are…
“They need to bring back teaching binary in schools. That’s just my 10 cents”
People submitting their thoughts proverbially value them at two cents ("just my two cents"). "Network security professionals should be familiar with binary mathematics, but…
“Thieves wear sneakers, artists wear sketchers and language teachers wear converse”
Converse shoes have nothing to do with conversations or conversing, but there are jokes. "What kind of shoes do linguists wear? converse" was posted on Reddit -- Funny on October 10,…
“Think you’re bored? Sir Isaac Newton invented calculus during the plague”
It has been pointed out, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic and at other times, that some people have used isolation to great advantage. "Happy birthday to Isaac Newton, who, at the age…
“Thinking that printing banknotes ends poverty is like thinking that printing diplomas ends ignorance”
"Pensar que imprimiendo billetes se acaba con la pobreza es como pensar que imprimiendo diplomas se acaba con la ignorancia" ("Thinking that printing banknotes ends poverty is like…
“This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined”
There have been several math jokes on Fibonacci numbers. "Fibonacci joke: 'I feel like this year’s Fibonacci conference will be as big as the last two combined!'" was posted…
“This pandemic is exactly why I hated group projects in school”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic required cooperation from everyone. The situation reminded many people of group projects in school (where some people did no work). "For anyone who hated…
“Those who can’t teach, teach gym”
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) wrote in his play Man and Superman (1903): "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." The saying is often given as, "Those who can, do, those who…
“Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it—next semester”
George Santayana (1863-1952) wrote in 1896, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." A parody was printed in the Washington (DC) Post on July 19, 1984: "Bill…
“Those who go to college and never get out are called professors”
"Those who go to college and never get out are called professors" is a jocular line by the dialect actor George Givot (1903-1984), cited in print since at least April 1936. The saying has…
“Time goes by fast when you’re avoiding homework”
"Time goes by fast when you're avoiding homework" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Random observation: Time flies when you're avoiding…
“Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students”
"Experience is the best teacher" is a proverb that can be traced back to classical Rome. The French composer Hector Berlioz (1803-1869) wrote in a letter in November 1856: "Le temps…
“To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe”
"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American magazine columnist and author Marilyn vos Savant…
“To all the high school grads… Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life”
"Congratulations on getting through the easiest part of life" (shown with a picture of graduates) is a saying that has been printed on many images. "And, I'm so glad that you…
“To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid”
"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Quote: 'To be old and wise you must first be young and…
“To be scary on Halloween, carry a school fundraising packet to every door”
"My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so I’m making her walk up to each house carrying a school fundraising packet" is a jocular line that was posted on…
“To clarify: Teachers are not ‘off for the summer,’ they are ‘in recovery’”
"To clarify: Teachers are not 'off for the summer,' they are 'in recovery'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "To clarify: Teachers are…
“To clarify: Teachers are not ‘off for the summer.’ We are ‘in recovery’”
"To clarify: Teachers are not 'off for the summer,' they are 'in recovery'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "To clarify: Teachers are…