“The hardest animal to kill is a school mascot”
"The hardest/toughest animal to kill is a school mascot" is a popular saying with school administrators, especially when there is talk about closing a school. "The hardest animal to…
“The high school music teacher told his students to read band books”
"Banned books" is sometimes punned as "band books." "Did John Philip Sousa read band books? #bannedbooks" was posted on Twitter on September 24, 2012. "The high…
“The homework is due Monday.”/ “Can I get an extension?”/ “The homework is due Monday.png.”
A homework joke was posted on Twitter by Thomas The Reaper (a now suspended account) on April 18, 2016: The homework is due on Monday."Can I get an extension?"The homework is due on…
“The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people”
"The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Bob Armstrong on July 5, 2021. It's uncertain who…
“The lesson is always love”
"The lesson is always love" is a saying that has been printed on many images. American author Madeleine L'Engle (1918-2007) wrote in the book The Irrational Season (1977): "The…
“The library before finals looks like the gym after New Year’s”
"The library before finals looks like the gym after New Year's" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "The library before finals looks like the gym…
“The life you live is the lesson you teach”
"The life you live is the lesson you teach" is a saying that has appeared on posters. The saying has been cited in print in 1918, 1919 and 1923, and then it suddenly became popular in…
“The man who gets into a cage full of lions impresses everyone but a school-bus driver”
"The man who enters a cage of ferocious lions impresses everyone but a school bus driver" is a jocular line that tells of the difficult job of a bus driver. "The man who gets into a…
“The mediocre teacher tells, the good teacher explains, the superior teacher demonstrates”
American proverbs author William Arthur Ward (1921-1994) wrote in the 1960s (probably 1965): "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The…
“The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget…”
Entry in progress -- BP Scholar Works26 April 1927, The Montana Kaimin, Google BooksPhilosophy and the Social SciencesBy Wayne Albert Risser Leys Ann Arbor, MI: Edwards Bros.1939 Pg. 7:The more you…
“The music teacher got irritated because her students kept passing notes”
A music teacher riddle was posted on Twitter by LITTLE MISS PATATAS on June 18, 2010: Q: Why was the music teacher angry? A: Because the kids were always passing notes. The joke has also been…
“The odds are good, but the goods are odd” (male-female ratio)
Male-to-female ratios are disproportionate at some schools (such as engineering schools or former women's colleges), but heterosexual students note that a large proportion of geeks and gays…
“The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy”
"The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy" is a joke based on fathers who embellish their alleged hard scrabble beginnings. The kids today have it easy; the…
“The only difference between McDonald’s and my college is McDonald’s has only got one clown running the show”
"The difference between McDonald's and where I work. McDonald's only has one clown running the show" is a work saying that has been printed on many images. Ronald McDonald is…
“The only difference between McDonald’s and my school is McDonald’s has only got one clown running the show”
"The difference between McDonald's and where I work. McDonald's only has one clown running the show" is a work saying that has been printed on many images. Ronald McDonald is…
“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory”
"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Miss Stella Delaney was lost in…
“The only thing that will survive the apocalypse is student loans”
Student loans cannot be discharged in a personal bankruptcy. But what about an apocalypse? "@CreditLoan you're insane if you think student loan lenders won't survive a Zombie…
“The parking lot at clown school must be really small”
The circus "clown car" gag has many clowns fitting into just one small car. A clown college used to exist, and it had a parking lot. "The dormitory parking lot at Clown College…
“The person who would proof read Hitler’s speeches was a grammar Nazi”
The Nazi Party and its leader, Adolf Hitler (1889-1945), are well known. "The Soup Nazi" episode of the television sitcom Seinfeld (original airdate on November 2, 1995) made the term…
“The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are derivative, trig jokes are too graphic…”
Several math puns are often added -- a pun! -- together into one big math joke. "I'd claim to be original but pretty much all my calculus jokes are derivative" was posted on Twitter…