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March 1, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Walls for the wind, a roof for the rain, and drinks beside the fire…” (Irish blessing)

An Irish blessing popular on St. Patrick’s Day was printed in the Edmonton (Alberta) Journal on March 17, 1965: "Walls for the windAnd a roof for the rainAnd tea beside the fire --Laughter…

July 13, 2025
Buildings/Housing/ParksTime/WeatherWork/Businesses

“Warehouse: somebody who turns into a house when the full moon is out”

A warehouse has nothing to do with a werewolf, but there are jokes. "When the full moon comes out does a werewolf's house turn into a warehouse?" was posted on Facebook by Joey…

September 29, 2019
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Warning: My alarm tells me you’re in my house. My gun tells me not for long”

"Warning: My alarm tells me you're in my house. My gun tells me not for long" is a sign that has been printed on many images. "MY ALARM TELLS ME YOU ARE IN MY HOUSE……MY GUN…

October 16, 2022
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Washing windows is a pane in the glass”

"Fixing broken windows is a pane in the glass" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "Pane in the glass" is a pun on "pain in the ass." There…

May 3, 2015
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Watch grass grow” (a boring activity)

Something that is “like watching (the) grass grow” is something that is very boring. "Slow motion pictures are to be used in the teaching of golf and if they even film Chet Smith teeing…

May 2, 2015
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Watch paint dry” (a boring activity)

Something that is "like watching paint dry" is something that is very boring. "Waiting for them to score one (the Dodgers to score a run -- ed.) is like watching paint dry" was…

August 4, 2023
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“We don’t have a welcome mat at our door because we’re not liars”

Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…

August 4, 2023
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“We don’t have a welcome mat at the door because we’re not liars”

Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…

September 14, 2014
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us”

British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (1874-1965) said in October 1943 about plans to rebuild the bomb-shattered House of Parliament: "We shape our buildings and afterwards our buildings…

July 28, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there’s no ‘P’ in it. Let’s keep it that way”

"Welcome to our ‘ool’. Notice there’s no ‘P’ in it. Let’s keep it that way" is a jocular saying (against "pee" in the pool) that has been printed on many images. The…

June 7, 2022
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Welp, paid rent. Now I got a place to starve to death”

"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…

October 9, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Went to the bathroom earlier and took a poo. Not sure whose it was, but it’s mine now”

When someone goes to the bathroom to "take a dump," there is no actual "taking" -- except in jokes. "Went to the bathroom earlier and took a poo....not sure whose it was,…

September 23, 2015
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What a house! Nothing but rooms!”

Yankee catcher Yogi Berra (1925-2015) moved into a large house in New Jersey in 1961, and he was asked to describe the place. Berra said: "What a place it is. Nothing but rooms." The…

March 18, 2016
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What clothes does a house wear?”/“Address.”

A pun about a house is: Q: What clothes does a house wear?A: Address (a dress). The joke has been cited in print since at least 1984. "Does a house wear a coat of paint 'cause it's…

February 14, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What did one elevator say to the other?”/“I think I’m coming down with something!”

An elevator riddle is: Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?A: "I think I'm coming down with something!" The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1972, when it…

April 30, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What did one wall say to the other wall?”/“Meet me at the corner.”

A riddle about walls is: Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?A: "Meet me at the corner." The joke was printed in the Brooklyn (NY) Eagle on August 17, 1940. 17 August 1940,…

December 15, 2019
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?”/“You’re too young to smoke.”

A chimney riddle is: Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?A: "You're too young to smoke." The (cigarette) smoking joke has been cited in print since at least 1941.…

September 13, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What did the curtain say to the floor?”/“Stop looking under my skirt!”

A riddle about curtains is: Q: What did the curtain say to the floor?A: "Stop looking under my skirt!" "@MiaTyler this is my 6yr. old's joke: what did the curtain say to the…

September 13, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What did the curtain say to the window?”/“I’ve got you covered.”

A riddle about curtains is: Q: What did the curtain say to the window?A: "I've got you covered." "Rob: What did the curtain say to the window? Roy: Don't move, I've…

August 7, 2016
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center?” (joke)

The September 11, 2001 attacks that destroyed New York City's World Trade Center quickly became the subject of jokes. This joke was cited on September 25, 2001: Q: What did the hot dog seller…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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