“Tidy house, tidy mind”
"Tidy house. tidy mind” is a popular saying, though not always an accurate one. "A tidy house is the symbol of a tidy mind" was cited in print in 1986. A similar saying is “If a…
“Tidy room, tidy mind”
"Tidy (bed)room. tidy mind” is a popular saying, though not always an accurate one. "A tidy room is the key to a tidy mind" was cited in print in 1982. A similar saying is “If a…
“Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro get a job”
"Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro get a job" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker struggles to pay rent, and sees the landlord who does nothing but…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations, I’m converting my house into a Chinese restaurant”
Many Chinese restaurants put up Christmas decorations and never seem to take them down. "To avoid taking down my Christmas decorations..I'm converting my house into a Chinese…
“To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m making my house into an Italian restaurant”
Do Italian restaurants have too many lights? Patrick McLellan posted a Christmas joke on Twitter on January 7, 2013: "To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an…
“To be honest, I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this all started”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic increased use of Lysol (a brand name of cleaning and disinfecting products). "To be honest.. I’ve wanted to spray a lot of people with Lysol before this…
“To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays… Put it in an Amazon box and leave it on the porch”
"Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays? Put it in Amazon boxes and leave it on your front porch" is a jocular saying that has been printed on may images. That is, people…
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”
"To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "'When you plant a garden, you have to believe in tomorrow,'…
“Today I learned that ‘Wet Floor’ signs are not a request”
Many buildings have "Wet Floor" signs, indicating that people should walk there only with great caution. The sign usually means that the floor has just been cleaned. A joke is:…
“Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my leaves into my neighbor’s yard”
"I can’t believe it’s already that time of year again when I have to rake the leaves into my neighbor’s yard" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: WhitewashWhitewash, or calcimine, kalsomine, calsomine, or lime paint is a low-cost type of paint made from slaked lime (calcium hydroxide) and chalk (whiting).…
“Trees are just broccoli for giants”
Broccoli looks like little trees. "Trees are broccoli for giants" was posted on X/Twitter by Brandon Floyd on January 16, 2011. "What if trees are just broccoli for giants" was…
“Trespassers Are Welcome: Dog food is getting to be expensive” (sign)
"Trespassers Are Welcome: Dog food is getting to be expensive" is a jocular warning sign that has been printed on many images. The implication is that a dog will eat trespassers.…
“Trespassers Welcome: Dog food is expensive” (sign)
"Trespassers Are Welcome: Dog food is getting to be expensive" is a jocular warning sign that has been printed on many images. The implication is that a dog will eat trespassers.…
“True house cleaners aren’t just born, they’re maid”
"Maid" shouldn't be confused with "made," but there are jokes. "Housekeepers aren't born they're maid" was posted on Twitter by Dang Laser on January 7,…
“Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday”
"Turn a regular sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "TURN a regular sofa into a sofa bed by…
“Two blondes walk into a building. You’d think one of them would have seen it”
"Two men walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would have seen it" is a classic bar joke. A similar joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on October 8, 1997: "Two…
“Two cats sit on a roof. Which falls off first?”/“The one with the smaller mu.”
A popular math joke is: Q: Two cats are sitting on a sloping roof. Which one falls off first?A: The one with the smallest mu. The Greek letter mu stands for the coefficient of friction. The cat…
“Vines creep, then leap” (“first year it sleeps, second year it creeps, third year it leaps”)
There is a popular saying about ivy: "The first year it sleeps, the second year it creeps and the third year it leaps." The saying has been cited in print since at least 1960, when it was…
“Walking down the stairs is falling with extra steps”
Walking down stairs has been compared to falling. "How come walking down stairs is just falling with extra steps?" was posted on Twitter by Phil_Swift on August 4, 2020. This was posted…