“What’s a shy and retiring accountant?” (joke)
Accountants are usually conservative personalities. "What's a shy and retiring accountant?" goes an old joke. "An accountant who's half a million shy and that's why…
“What’s the difference between a banker and a pigeon?” (joke)
A standard joke is told whenever there's a financial downturn. "What's the difference between a banker and a pigeon? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes!" The joke…
“What’s the difference between a bond and a bond trader?”/“The bond matures.”
A classic Wall Street riddle is: Q: What's the difference between a bond and a bond trader?A: The bond matures. The joke was printed in the Chicago (IL) Sun-Times on October 7, 1987. A similar…
“What’s the difference between a fund manager and a shopping trolley?” (joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Independent (Ireland)That's your cash in the public purse!PUBLISHED06/11/2003 | 00:11(...)Heard on the Street: What's the difference between a shopping trolley…
“What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?”/“A canoe tips.”
An ethnic stereotype is that Jewish people are stingy with money. A joke is: Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?A: A canoe tips. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
“What’s the difference between a rouble and a dollar?”/“A dollar.”
A joke about the worthlessness of the Russian rouble/ruble currency became popular in 1993 and 1998. "Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A ROUBLE AND A DOLLAR? A: A DOLLAR!" was posted…
“What’s the difference between a ruble and a dollar?”/“A dollar.”
A joke about the worthlessness of the Russian rouble/ruble currency became popular in 1993 and 1998. "Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A ROUBLE AND A DOLLAR? A: A DOLLAR!" was posted…
“What’s the difference between musicians and government bonds?” (joke)
It's an old joke that musicians and other entertainers usually don't make much money: Q: What's the difference between musicians and government bonds?A: Government bonds will…
“What’s the fastest way to transfer money?”/“Get married.”
What's the fastest way to transfer money? "Electronic Banking is a fast way to transfer money. Marriage is an even faster way" was posted on Twitter on April 17, 2009. "2nd…
“What’s the hardest thing to sell to a ghost?”/“Life insurance.”
A ghost riddle is: Q: What's the hardest thing to sell to a ghost? A: Life insurance. The life insurance joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Books102 Haunted House JokesBy…
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money”
"Money can't buy happiness" is a proverb that has been cited in English since at least 1821. There have been many jocular additions and variations to the proverb. "What good is…
“What’s the exchange rate between pounds, rubles, dollars?”/“A pound of rubles equals a dollar.”
A joke about the small value of the old Soviet Union's currency was posted on the newsgroup net.jokes on November 24, 1983: Q: What are the relative values of the British pound, American…
“When a fellow says, ‘It ain’t the money but the principle of the thing,’ it’s the money”
Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) drew the popular "Abe Martin Says" one-panel newspaper comic. Many sayings became widely quoted. "When a feller says, 'It hain't th' money, but…
“When a habit begins to cost money, it is called a hobby”
"When a habit begins to cost money, it is called a hobby" is a jocular one-line saying that appears to have been coined in the "Little Liz" newspaper comic strip in January…
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband and half the salary”
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice/double the husband and half the salary/pay/income/cash" is an old retirement joke, cited in print since at least 1964. The saying has been credited…
“When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: He hasn’t any”
American novelist and journalist Edgar Watson Howe (1853-1937) wrote as one of his "Country Town Sayings" in 1911: "When a man says money can do anything, that settles it: He…
“When a woman puts me in the friend zone, I immediately borrow money from her”
Do true friend let you borrow money and never pay it back. Jay posted this joke on Twitter on September 27, 2013: "When a woman puts me in the friend zone the first thing I do is borrow money…
“When accountants go insane, do they start to hear invoices?
A joke about accountants/bookkeepers is: "When accountants go insane, do they start to hear invoices? The joke has been cited on Twitter since December 2, 2011. The "hear invoices"…
“When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen” (E. F. Hutton)
The investment firm of E. F. Hutton is now part of the Citigroup family. E. F. Hutton is still remembered for its catchy advertising slogan: "When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen." The…
“When even shoeshine boys are giving you stock tips, it’s time to sell” (Joseph P. Kennedy?)
An old Wall Street saying has it that when everybody's getting into the market and even the shoeshine boy is giving stock tips (or the barber/hairdresser or the taxi driver or the waiter or…