“If you live in New York, you’re Jewish” (Lenny Bruce)
New York comedian Lenny Bruce (1925-1966) was known for his off-color material in the 1960s. In one routine, he explained what "Jewish" was, as opposed to "goyish" (not Jewish).…
Big Nipple (Los Angeles nickname)
“If you look down, you will fall. If you look up, you will fly”
"If you look down, you will fall. If you look up, you will fly" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on an image. The saying was posted on Twitter on January 25, 2012.…
“If you look good, you play good” (sports adage)
"If you look good, you play good" is a sports saying that has been printed on many images. "If you look good, you feel good and you play good" was printed in The Evening Sun…
“If you look like your passport photo, you need the trip”
"Passport pictures are notoriously unpleasant and unflattering," the New York (NY) Times published in September 1930. A popular line appeared in an Associated Press story in June 1954:…
“If you lose a garden gnome, are you gnomeless?”
Many homes have garden gnomes. Homes that do not have them are "gnomeless." "It you lose a garden gnome are you gnomeless? #themoreyouknow" was posted on Twitter by The Knower…
“If you lose, be patient. If you win, stay humble”
"If you lose, be patient. If you win, stay humble" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "If you win stay humble, if you lose, put your head down and…
“If you love a hotel, why don’t you Marriott”
"Marriott" hotels sounds like "marry it," and there are jokes. "If you love a certain hotel, why don't you marriott?" was posted on Facebook by Tariq Shah on July…
“If you love milk chocolate, but don’t like dark chocolate, you actually like sugar more than chocolate”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter reddit bot @thejerrys_bot If you love milk chocolate, but don’t like dark chocolate, you actually like sugar more than chocolate. 9:35 PM · May 22, 2019
“If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be”
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with" is a modern proverb. "If you love somebody, let them…
“If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back with tacos, it was meant to be”
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with" is a modern proverb. "If you love somebody, let them…
“If you love your hotel room so much, why don’t you just Marriott?”
"Marriott" hotels sounds like "marry it," and there are jokes. "If you love a certain hotel, why don't you marriott?" was posted on Facebook by Tariq Shah on July…
“If you make 10,000 regulations you destroy all respect for the law”
"If you make 10,000 regulations you destroy all respect for the law" is a newly popular quotation that is credited to Winston Churchill (1874-1965). Churchill said the quotation before…
“If you make a salad dressing but don’t like it, you have vineregret”
"Vinaigrette" dressing is a somewhat confusing word. It is not "vineregret" (vine regret) -- except in jokes. "No wonder this salad was terrible... I used vineregret…
“If you make home fries whilst not at home, are they away fries?”
"Home fries" is a popular breakfast dish of fried potatoes, cut in chunks or wedges and usually served with onions. You can get "home fries" at restaurants (outside the home),…
“If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas”
Texas is a large state. "You measure distances in hours out here, not miles" was printed in the Austin (TX) American-Statesman on July 7, 1996. "You Know You're From A Small…
“If you miss the ball, don’t miss the leg” (soccer adage)
"If you missed the ball, don't miss the leg/man/bone" is a soccer adage popular in West African countries such as Ghana and Nigeria. The saying means that if you strike your leg out…
“If you mix butter and flour, you’ll roux the day”
"Roux" (a mixture of flour and fat) has resulted in many "roux the day" (roux + rue the day) puns. "Roux the day" has been cited in print since at least 1989, when it…
“If you mix garlic with a hallucinogenic, you’d get an Allicin Wonderland”
Allicin is an organosulfur compound obtained from garlic. "Allicin Wonderland" is an obvious pun on Alice in Wonderland. "The body is, in fact, a veritable allicin wonderland"…
“If you mix sodium, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and sulfur together, what do you get? NaCHOS!”
Nachos are sometimes described by the elements Sodium (Na), Carbon (C), Hydrogen (H) and Oxygen (O), with Sulfur (S). "What do you get when you combine sodium (Na), carbon (C), hydrogen (H),…
“If you mix Tabasco in hand sanitizer, it will not only kill germs…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to buy hand sanitizer. "If you’re having trouble keeping your hands away from your face and eyes just mix Tabasco in your hand…