“A ventriloquist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A ventriloquist version has been cited in print since at least 2013: "A ventriloquist…
1960s: Fun City
“A veteran is someone who wrote a blank check to the United States of America”
The following definition of a veteran was cited on the newsgroup parklandwatch on August 4, 2007: VETERAN A Veteran - whether active duty, retired, or national guard or reserve - is someone who, at…
“A Viagra shipment was stolen today. Cops are on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals”
What is a "hardened criminal"? A now-famous Viagra joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor.funny on May 20, 1998: "Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health…
“A violinist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Sometimes the "bar" involves musical notation. "A violinist walks into a…
“A virologist, an epidemiologist and a scientist walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. "A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, most bars…
“A virus didn’t change our lives. A tyrannical government did”
"A virus didn’t change our lives. A tyrannical government did" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying usually refers to the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic.…
“A voice for print”
To say that someone has "a voice for print" is to say that the voice is so bad that it shouldn't be on radio or television. "A voice for print" has been cited in print…
“A vote for freedom is never wasted”
"The Vote for Freedom Is Never Wasted" was the presidential slogan of Gary Johnson, the 2012 Libertarian Party candidate. The slogan attempted to counter the belief of many that a vote…
“A voting booth is just a gloryhole that you’re on the wrong end of”
Many people don't think much of voting and elections. "a voting booth is just a gloryhole you're on the wrong end of" was posted on Facebook by Zach Anderson on November 3,…
“A vulture with two dead raccoons tries to board. ‘Sorry, only one carrion is allowed’”
Flight attendants often ask about "carry-on" luggage, and there's a pun: "A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at it and says,…
“A waffle is a pancake with a non-skid tread”
"Webster notwithstanding, in our opinion a restaurant waffle is pancake with a non-skid tread" was printed in a June 1923 newspaper. "A waffle is a pancake with a non-skid…
“A waffle is just a more considerate pancake”
"Tragic Ally" posted on Twitter on March 26, 2016: "A waffle is just a more considerate pancake. It's like, here, let me hold that syrup for you in these convenient boxes."…
“A waffle is just a pancake’s alter Eggo”
Eggo is a brand of frozen waffles. There is no "alter Eggo" (alter ego + Eggo), but there are jokes. "My Alter-Eggo is craving pancakes right about now. Maybe even fresh blueberry…
“A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap”
"A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap" is a jocular statement that has been printed on many images. The joke was a signature of comedian Mitch Hedberg's comedy act since at…
“A waffle without the letter W is just awful”
The Sesame Street song "The National Association Of 'W' Lovers" (1971) has the lyrics: A fine word like "waffle"Would turn out just "awful"Oh,…
“A waist is a terrible thing to mind”
"A waist is a terrible thing to mind" is a dieter's motto, taken from the United Negro College Fund's motto of "A mind is a terrible thing to waste" (in trademarked…
“A walk is as good as a hit” (baseball adage)
"A walk is as good as a hit" is a baseball adage that encourages a batter not to swing at bad pitches. If the bases are empty, a walk is as good as a hit. However, if it's the bottom…
“A watched pot never boils”
"A watched pot never boils" (also "a watched kettle never boils" and "a watched pot is slow to boil") means that constant anticipation and watching makes things seem…
“A Way of Life” & “Think Less, Feel Better” (New York Health & Racquet Club)
The New York Health & Racquet Club is over thirty years old and has several city locations. "A Way of Life" is a slogan since 1988, and "Think Less, Feel Better" is a slogan…
“A weasel walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A weasel version is: "A teenage weasel walks into a bar. Bartender says,…