A music joke was posted on the newsgroup wny.events on February 2, 1997: Q: Why is a viola like a lawsuit?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed. The joke has been told about other…
"Scared money never wins" is an old gambling adage. "A scared nickel never made a dime" is a business adage. If someone is unwilling to risk a little, then one won't win a…
There is a classic explanation of the Yiddish terms "schlemiel" and "schlimazel": "A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup. A schlimazel is the guy he spills it on." A…
"Due" shouldn't be confused with "dew," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 21, 2022: "A science teacher had his students observe and…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A scintilla and an iota have a version of this. "A scintilla and an iota walk into a…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A screwdriver version is: "A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
Former New York Stock Exchange head Richard Grasso received a $200 million pay package. It's been alleged that he received the large amount to look the other way at NYSE abuses. Ken Langone…
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student" is an old line of unknown authorship. "He (Charles Haddon Spurgeon -- ed.) is a self-taught man, and contrary to…
People used to ask celebrities for autographs, but now, they ask celebrities to be in their selfies. "The new form of asking for an autograph is 'can i get a selfie?'" was…
A semicolon riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 24, 2016: Q: What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?A: It was given two consecutive sentences. A different form of the joke…
"A shady business never yields a sunny life" was printed in Forbes Epigrams: 1000 Thoughts on Life and Business (1922) by B. C. Forbes, the founder of Forbes magazine. It became one of…
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan accepted the Republican National Convention's nomination for vice president in August 2012, pointing out failures of the incumbent Democratic administration…
"Sales manager" shouldn't be confused with "sails manager," but there are jokes. "YES! Just been hired as a sails manager at the yacht club 🚣" was posted on…
"Sorry, we're clothed" -- a pun on the popular "Sorry, we're closed" sign -- has been printed on many images. "On the door of a Los Angeles strip joint, after a…
"Lobster tails" shouldn't be confused with "lobster tales," but there are jokes. "Once upon a time there was a lobster… #lobstertales" was posted on Twitter by…
"A signature always reveals a man's character — and sometimes even his name" is a jocular line that has been credited to humorist and author Evan Esar (1899-1995), who included it…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A simile version is: "A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert." "A…
“A single bee is ignored, but when millions come together, even the bravest run in fear. The one thing the government fears is the day we stand together” is a saying that has been printed on…