“A screwdriver walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A screwdriver version is: "A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says,…
1960s: Fun City
“A seat on the New York Stock Exchange is a license to steal”
Former New York Stock Exchange head Richard Grasso received a $200 million pay package. It's been alleged that he received the large amount to look the other way at NYSE abuses. Ken Langone…
“A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student”
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student" is an old line of unknown authorship. "He (Charles Haddon Spurgeon -- ed.) is a self-taught man, and contrary to…
“A selfie with a celebrity is the new form of an autograph”
People used to ask celebrities for autographs, but now, they ask celebrities to be in their selfies. "The new form of asking for an autograph is 'can i get a selfie?'" was…
“A semicolon broke the law; it was given two consecutive sentences”
A semicolon riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 24, 2016: Q: What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?A: It was given two consecutive sentences. A different form of the joke…
“A shady business never yields a sunny life”
"A shady business never yields a sunny life" was printed in Forbes Epigrams: 1000 Thoughts on Life and Business (1922) by B. C. Forbes, the founder of Forbes magazine. It became one of…
“A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. Ba-Dum-Tss”
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“A sheep, a drum and a snake walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
The rimshot became famous as a drummer's support of a comedian after a (usually bad or unusually corny) joke. The drum sounds are written as "boom boom" and "ba dum tss."…
“A ship does not sail with yesterday’s wind” (political proverb)
Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan accepted the Republican National Convention's nomination for vice president in August 2012, pointing out failures of the incumbent Democratic administration…
“A sign for a strip club during the day: ‘Sorry, we’re clothed’”
"Sorry, we're clothed" -- a pun on the popular "Sorry, we're closed" sign -- has been printed on many images. "On the door of a Los Angeles strip joint, after a…
“A sign said ‘Lobster Tails $2.’ I paid $2 and was told, ‘Once upon a time there was a lobster…’”
"Lobster tails" shouldn't be confused with "lobster tales," but there are jokes. "Once upon a time there was a lobster… #lobstertales" was posted on Twitter by…
“A signature reveals a man’s character—and sometimes even his name”
"A signature always reveals a man's character — and sometimes even his name" is a jocular line that has been credited to humorist and author Evan Esar (1899-1995), who included it…
“A simile walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A simile version is: "A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert." "A…
“A single bee is ignored, but when millions come together, even the bravest run in fear”
“A single bee is ignored, but when millions come together, even the bravest run in fear. The one thing the government fears is the day we stand together” is a saying that has been printed on…
“A single kernel of corn is a unicorn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“A single piece of corn is technically a unicorn”
The fictional "unicorn" animal is not "a single piece of corn," but the joke has been printed on many images. "So is a unicorn like one single piece of corn?" was…
“A six-sided man walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A hexagon version is: "A six-sided man walks into a bar and orders a gon. The…
“A skeleton walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One popular joke is: "A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender, give me a…
“A skyscraper is a machine that makes the land pay”
"The building is merely the machine that makes the land pay," architect Cass Gilbert (1859-1934) said in 1900 about the new skyscrapers popping up in big cities. Gilbert would become even…
“A sloppy joe is just a chili sandwich”
A sloppy joe sandwich has been compared to chili, made into a chili sandwich. "A chili sandwich? You mean a sloppy Joe?" was posted on Twitter by Callie Kimball on February 23, 2010.…