"I've accepted that I'll never retire. I'll be working up until my funeral, probably using a vacation day for it" is a saying that has been printed on many images The…
"Final exam" is sometimes jocularly given as "final eggs ham." "final eggs ham" was posted on Twitter by Joey Miller on August 3, 2010. "I've almost finished…
"Manatee" (a large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammal) should not be confused with "man a tea," but there are jokes. "My wife and I were talking about obscure…
The high price of groceries is reflected in this joke in "The Girls," a syndicated newspaper comic strip by Franklin Folger that was printed on December 23, 1974: (Two women talking,…
"I've always wondered why there is a day dedicated to fools. I see fools every day and frankly, I'm sick of it" is a saying that has been printed on ecards. "RT @MissHMQ:…
"I've bean thinking about you a latte" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I've bean thinking about you a latte" was posted on Twitter by…
"I've been watching my weight. It's still there" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The expression "watch your weight" usually means to watch…
"I've been a fan of Gazpacho soup since before it was cool" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Alf on November 15, 2020, and on Reddit -- Oneliners on November 18, 2020.…
There's a difference between "fencing" (a sport) and "fencing" (that goes around a house), but there are jokes. "I've been bored recently so I've decided to…
People trying to lose weight often "cut carbs" (carbohydrates) from their diets, but this does not mean physically cutting them. "This is how I cut carbs (takes a pizza cutter to the…
People work out to "see some definition," such as muscles coming out from what used to be fat. "Been bench pressing dictionaries, starting to see some definition in my arms..."…
"I've been hiding from exercise. I'm in the fitness protection program" '' a pun on "witness protection program" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed…
Many people are reminded about software updates, but keep putting it off. Some people don't have the time, while others don't want the updates. "I've been hitting 'reboot…
Some people ty to watch their spending, but watching it doesn't help reduce it. "I've been keeping an eye on my spending.. From what I can see I'm very, very good at it"…
Some people ty to watch their spending, but watching it doesn't help reduce it. "I've been keeping an eye on my spending.. From what I can see I'm very, very good at it"…
New York City-born comedian Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971) told syndicated entertainment columnist Earl Wilson in June 1957 that he had sworn off drinking and heavy eating. "In 14 days," Lewis…
Many people have been on hold for a long time on their phone calls. "I've been on hold so long that I can't remember who I've called..." was posted on Twitter by…
"Things are looking up" means that conditions are getting better. This usually doesn't involve actually looking up, but there are jokes. "I have had some good news today.I have…
"I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better." This insightful bit of personal financial wisdom has been credited to entertainer Sophie Tucker, comedian Joe E. Lewis,…
The 2020 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many social distancing requirements. Social distancing was compared to a restraining order. "I do my social distancing the old-fashioned way, usually…