If you book an escapology course, or you have an escapologist job, they can be hard to get out of fast enough. Or so the jokes/puns have it. "I hated my job as an escapologist. I couldn't…
"Soda pressing" is a pun for "so depressing." A rock song titled "Soda Pressing" by the punk group Boys was released in 1977. "He had a soft drink while catching…
A popular marriage joke was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.jewish on November 4, 2000: "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't."…
"I bet testing treadmills is a great starter job. Seems like it could really get a career up and running..." is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Nancy on September 28, 2012. "My…
"I quit my job working at a helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice" is a joke that has been printed on several images. The joke has been cited in print since at…
"Cold turkey" is defined as a sudden stop to a dependency (such as smoking or drugs). A pun on the "cold turkey" term appeared in New York magazine on November 20, 1978: "I…
Some people run...for ice cream? "I Ran Five Miles Today.....Damn Ice Cream Truck Still Didn't Stop...Even Though I Was Yellin & Wavin My Money At Him!!" was posted on Twitter on…
Some people run...for ice cream? "I Ran Five Miles Today.....Damn Ice Cream Truck Still Didn't Stop...Even Though I Was Yellin & Wavin My Money At Him!!" was posted on Twitter on…
"I ran into a lamppost. But I only have light injuries" is a pun that was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on July 18, 2020. "I ran into a lamppost yesterday. Luckily, I only sustained…
"I ran out of coffee this morning. Tequila seemed a reasonable replacement. Everyone is so pretty" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I ran out of coffee this…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in toilet paper shortages -- and jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 18, 2020: "I ran out of toilet paper, so have begun using old…
People named "Miles" should not be confused with actual "miles," but there are jokes. "I actually meant to say I ran over 4 people named Miles" was posted on Twitter…
"I ran twice today. First I ran out of beer, and then I ran to get some more" is a jocular saying about running that has been printed on many images. "I ran twice today, first i ran…
Blue Moion is a Belgian-style witbier brewed by MillerCoors. The beer is usually served with an orange slice. There are many "once in a Blue Moon" jokes. "I hardly ever eat orange…
"I reached peak adulting by being thrilled to be in a nearly empty supermarket first thing in the morning" is a saying that has been printed on many images. An empty supermarket allows…
"I read old books because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A lot of talk about…
American comedian Rita Rudner used a successful line in her routine by at least 2000: "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's…
A banana a day can help the colon. However, one should eat the banana -- and not attempt to directly insert it into the colon. "Maxwell said a banana a day is good for keeping your colon…
Some doctors believe that cinnamon helps for weight control -- so patients can then order a lot of cinnamon rolls? This is just a food joke because no one eats cinnamon rolls to lose weight.…
The frozen food instructions "remove cardboard sleeve and film" doesn't mean to film the dish, but there are jokes. "'Remove cardboard sleeve and film', so I did. My…