“A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage”
Not everyone likes lollipops. American comedian Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) said: "A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage." It's not known when Hedberg first used the…
New York City
“A long term investment is a short term investment that failed”
"A long term investment is a short term investment that failed" means that something went wrong and it will take the trader/investor longer to get his/her money back. This is semingly a…
“A lost opportunity is better than lost money” (“Missed money is better than lost money”)
"A lost opportunity is better than lost money" has been cited in print since at least 1919. The saying means that the lost opportunity may (or may not) have gained money, but it's…
“A lot of money is tainted—‘taint yours and ‘taint mine”
"A lot of money is tainted -- 'taint yours and 'taint mine" is an old joke on the word "taint" (meaning "a trace of a bad or undesirable quality") and the…
“A lot of people are in debt because they spend what their friends think they make”
"A lot of people are in debt because they spend what their friends think they make" is a jocular one-line saying that has been popular on Twitter. "Some people are in debt because…
“A lot of people don’t like Mondays, but 48 hours ago was a sadder day”
Many people don't like Mondays, but love Saturdays. However, "Saturday" sounds like "sadder day." "Anyone notice how Saturday sounds like 'sadder day'? I…
“A lot of people my age are dead”
Former New York Yankees baseball manager Casey Stengel (1890-1975) was the league's oldest manager when he took that position on the expansion New York Mets. For Stengel's 74th birthday…
“A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of my ribbon-repair business yesterday”
Many businesses are opened by a ribbon-cutting ceremony. But what if the business is repairing ribbons? "The opening ceremony for my ribbon repair business was pretty confusing" was…
“A lot of women are turning into good drivers. If you’re a good driver, watch out for turning women”
Many jokes from the 1950s and 1960s portray women as bad drivers. A more modern joke is: "A lot of women are turning into good drivers. So, if you're a good driver, watch out for turning…
“A lot of yall don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach”
A school's football (or basketball) coach sometimes teaches other subjects. "A lot of y’all don’t know bout politics cause your history teacher was the football coach and it shows.…
“A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math”
It's long been known that the odds of a person winning the lottery are not good; a person stands more of a chance of being struck by lightning. The saying "A lottery is a tax on people…
“A macaron is just an Oreo that studied abroad”
Oreo cookies have been compared to macarons. "Macarons are like fancy Oreos" was posted on Twitter by Mary Cath on April 10, 2010. "Macarons are basically fancy Oreos no?" was…
“A machine learning algorithm walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An algorithm version is: "A machine learning algorithm walks into a bar. The bartender…
“A magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue”
Mad magazine (a humor magazine) made fun of magazines when it published the following joke in 1960: "Magazine . . . bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming next issue."…
“A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway”
A popular joke involves a magician and transportation: "A magician was driving down the road. Then he turned into a driveway." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007.…
“A malapropism walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A malapropism version is: "A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive…
“A male feminist walks into a bar because it was set so low” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving a different kind of "bar" is: "A male feminist walks…
“A man bitten twice by the same snake is a fool”
"Don't/Never let the same snake bite you twice" is a proverbial saying that has been printed on many images. It's similar to the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool…
“A man doesn’t walk into a bar…” (bar joke, told during COVID-19 bar closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, bars were closed. The joke was: "A…
“A man doesn’t walk into a pub…” (pub joke, told during COVID-19 pub closures)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." However, during the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, pubs were closed. The joke was: "A…