“I can spell ‘banana,’ but I never know when to stop”
The word "banana" is sometimes difficult to spell, with an extra "n" and "a" often added. An old joke told of a small child who said that he could spell…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone”
"I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone" -- referring to the days before smartphones -- is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I can tell if people are judgemental just by looking at them”
"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.…
“I can tell if people are judgmental just by looking at them”
"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.…
“I can tell people are judgemental just by looking at them”
"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.…
“I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them”
"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.…
“I can time travel into the future at the rate of one second per second”
We all time travel. "I can time travel.... but only forwards.....and really slowly... at one second per second" was posted on Twitter by Rudy Lippert on July 26, 2010. "I time travel…
“I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol”
"I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts. To "walk on water" is to accomplish an impossible task; the miracle of…
“I can write in cursive so I’m basically a Founding Father at this point”
The Founding Fathers of the United States wrote documents in cursive, but most people seldom write in cursive today. Cursive is sometimes called "founding father handwriting."…
“I can’t afford a nice television, so I smoke weed and read the dictionary. High definition”
"High definition" has nothing to do with getting high and reading a dictionary, but there are jokes. "RT @RickieJacobs These rappers try to take my recognition/ We smoke weed then…
“I can’t be the only one that pauses the music to see if the siren is in the song or behind me”
When a person is driving a vehicle and is listening to music, is the siren that is heard in the music or from another vehicle? "Me pausing the music to see the siren is in the Song or…
“I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons. You make me sick!”
A Valentine's Day joke is: GIRL: I can't be your valentine for medical reasons.BOY: Really?GIRL: Yeah, you make me sick! The joke has been cited in print since at least 1999. 14 February…
“I can’t believe after changing the name on a pancake box - we haven’t obtained world peace yet”
"Can't believe we don't have world peace after changing the name on pancake boxes and syrup bottles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying refers to the…
“I can’t believe I got arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just doing nothing”
Many people believe that politicians don't do a whole lot of work. "I used to sit around and do nothing all day. Then I got arrested for impersonating a politician" was posted on…
“I can’t believe I still have to protest this shit”
"I can't believe I/we still have to protest this crap/shit" is a popular sign at many protest marches. "I can't believe I still have to protest this crap" was printed…
“I can’t believe I’ve been arrested for shoplifting. The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!”
"Swipe the cardigan" sounds like "swipe the (credit) card again." "I tried buying a buttoned sweater, but my payment was declined so I had to swipe the cardigan" was…
“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person”
"I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person" is a jocular New Year's one-line saying that has been printed on an ecard. Someecards posted…
“I can’t believe pretzels are knot bread”
Pretzels are baked bread often -- but not always -- shaped into a twisted knot. "Why do people eat pretzels since they are knot food? (Pun of the Day)" -- from the website Pun of the Day…
“I can’t believe the entire Siberian Orchestra is trans”
Trans-Siberian Orchestra (TSO) is an American rock band. "Trans-Siberian" usually means "across Siberia," but there are jokes where "trans" means…
“I can’t believe there are people out there who say astrology is fake, but believe it when a groundhog predicts the weather”
Many people ridicule astrology as fake science, but in astrology's defense, some people point out that others believe that a groundhog can predict the weather. This is often pointed out on…