“The roadside farm sign said: ‘DUCK, EGGS’” (joke)
A "duck, eggs" joke was posted on Twitter by Fred Delicious on November 2, 2016: [sees a sign outside a farm that says "duck, eggs"]"huh. Why'd they put a comma after…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“The rodeo ain’t over till the bull riders ride”
"Church is never out until they stop singing" is a saying that has been popular since the late 1800s. "It ain't over 'til it's over" is a similar saying that has…
“The Romaine empire has fallen. Caesar is dead. Lettuce pray”
"The Romaine empire has fallen. Caesar is dead. Lettuce pray" are three puns that have been printed on an image. "Roman Empire" becomes Romaine lettuce. "Julius…
“The Roman numerals for forty (40) are XL” (i.e., weight gain at 40 makes one Xtra Large)
Many people get fat when they are in their forties. "Fat, fair and forty" is a British satirical print from 1786. "Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are…
“The room was so small, I had to go out in the hall to change my mind”
New York City apartments and hotel rooms are usually very small. "The room was so small," an old joke goes, "I had to go out in the hall to change my mind." The joke appeared in…
“The rotation of the earth really makes my day”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterMichael Tucker@tichaelmuckerEarth's axial rotation period totally makes my day.3:18 PM - 19 Oct 2010 TwitterJim M.@jemappellejimboEarth's rotation…
“The Royal Albert Hall is the only place a modern composer can hear his music twice”
London's Royal Albert Hall opened in 1871 and has long been known for its poor acoustics. "Meanwhile, the celebrated echo belonging to the Albert Hall has been tracked" was printed…
“The sad moment when you lose a chip in the dip, so you send a recon chip to save it…”
Chips (such as potato chips or tortilla chips) often break in a dip. "#iHate when the chip break in the dip and you send in the recon chip, and it break too!" was posted on Twitter by…
“The safest surveillance system is the one that doesn’t exist”
"The safest surveillance system is the one that doesn’t exist" is shown on an image that was posted on Facebook by DeFlock America · Rusty Shackeferd on September 13, 2026. The image…
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket”
"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket" is a popular saying and a response to shady financial operators who promise to "double your…
“The Sahara desert walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Sahara desert version is: "The Sahara desert walks into a bar. The barman says,…
“The salt from tears in your food will just add flavor”
Human tears have salt in them. Many cooking recipes require salt. "the salt from tears in your food will just add flavor" was posted on X/Twitter by Foster The People on February 24,…
“The same people that are angrily demanding you tolerate and accept their way of life, hate you passionately for yours”
"Make no mistake, the same people who are demanding you accept and tolerate their way of life passionately hate you for yours and are relentlessly seeking to destroy it" and "The…
“The same people who sell the panic, sell the vaccine”
"The same people who sell the panic, sell the vaccine" and "The ones selling the panic are the same ones selling the vaccine" are COVID-19 (coronavirus) sayings that have been…
“The scariest part of Halloween is knowing my rent is due the next day”
Halloween is October 31st, and the next day is November 1st. Bills are often due on the first of a month. This was posted on X/Twitter by 🦋@simplylay on October 30, 2022, and this received over…
“The scariest part of that song ‘Born to be Wild’ is when they find a head out on the highway”
The song "Born to Be Wild" by Steppenwolf, featured in the motorcycle travel movie Easy Rider (1969), contains the lyrics, "Head out on the highway." "I think the scariest…
“The scariest thing about Halloween is that rent due at midnight”
Halloween is October 31st, and the next day is November 1st. Bills are often due on the first of a month. This was posted on X/Twitter by 🦋@simplylay on October 30, 2022, and this received over…
“The school board wishes you a speedy recovery, by a vote of 4-3”
Country school boards (or athletic boards) can be divisive over even simple things. A popular joke is told of an athletic board (or a school board) sending a losing football coach (or an assistant…
“The score is still 0-0—you haven’t missed anything” (joke)
An old joke is about a young couple arriving very late to a baseball game. The man asks for the score and is told that it's still 0-0. The woman then declares, "Good! We haven't…
“The scrawny personal trainer had to give a too weak notice”
People who are dismissed from jobs are often given two weeks' notice. Failed personal trainers might be given, according to the pun, a "too weak notice." "Too weak notice"…