“My friend has got an excellent nose for wine. It’s shaped like a corkscrew”
Some people are said to have a "nose for wine." They can sniff a wine and tell about its properties. "My friend has got an excellent nose for wine. It's shaped like a…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“My friend has just passed his master’s degree in salad studies. He now has lettuce after his name”
People with many degrees have many letters after their names. This shouldn't be confused with "lettuce" after a name, but there are jokes. "Q: Why was the rabbit called Peter…
“My friend helped me move and dropped 20% of my couch on his foot. Ouch”
A couch joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on June 11, 2019: "I just lost 20% of my couch. Ouch." "Couch" is a five-letter word, and the letter "C" is 20% of the…
“My friend is a professional sleep walker. He is living the dream”
A person who has a dream job is "living the dream." But suppose that person is a professional sleepwalker or a professional sleeper? "Sleepwalker livin the dream, sleepwalker sing…
“My friend is a professional sleeper. He is living the dream”
A person who has a dream job is "living the dream." But suppose that person is a professional sleepwalker or a professional sleeper? "Sleepwalker livin the dream, sleepwalker sing…
“My friend is a qualified greengrocer. He has lettuce after his name”
People with many degrees have many letters after their names. This shouldn't be confused with "lettuce" after a name, but there are jokes. "Q: Why was the rabbit called Peter…
“My friend is making easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes…” (joke)
The idiom "like shooting fish in a barrel" (meaning something that is extremely easy) shouldn't be confused with "shooting fish in apparel," but there are jokes. "My…
“My friend is so vegan, he won’t even have his picture taken because he’d have to say ‘cheese’”
A photographer sometimes gets people to smile by getting subjects to say "cheese." A joke is: "My friend is so vegan, he won't even have his picture taken because he'd have…
“My friend just quit his job at BMW. He gave no indication he was leaving”
BMW drivers, it's often said, don't use their turn signals. A joke was posted on Sickipedia on February 11, 2023: "My mate quit his job at BMW. He of course gave no indication he was…
“My friend lost his job as a journalist at a classic rock magazine through musical differences. He was always giving rave reviews”
A "rave review" isn't necessarily a review of a rave, but there are jokes. "Friend of mine gave up his job at the classic rock magazine as he had musical differences with his…
“My friend phoned that he’s changing his name to ‘Spinal Column.’ I said, ‘Can I call you back?’”
To "call someone back" is usually not meant literally in those words, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Tom Fox on November 2, 2015: "My mate rang to say he's…
“My friend rang me and asked me what I was doing. I said, ‘Probably failing my driving test!’”
"RT @sickipediabot: My mate rang me and asked 'What're you doing at the moment?' I said 'Probably failing my driving test'" was posted on X/Twitter by Eve on…
“My friend said onions are the only food that make you cry—so I threw a coconut at his face”
"My friend thinks he's smart. He said onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face" is a joke that has been printed on several posters. The joke has…
“My friend Sarah accidentally left her Pepsi 60 miles south of Tampa. That’s the location of Sarah’s soda”
Sarasota, Florida, shouldn't be confused with "Saah's soda," but there are jokes. "My friend Sarah accidentally left her Pepsi 60 miles south of Tampa. That's the…
“My friend Sarah left her bottle of Pepsi at a rest stop about 60 miles south of Tampa. That’s where Sarah’s soda is”
Sarasota, Florida, shouldn't be confused with "Saah's soda," but there are jokes. "My friend Sarah accidentally left her Pepsi 60 miles south of Tampa. That's the…
“My friend shouted, “You have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot!’” (joke)
A "third degree burn" doesn't involve three college degrees, but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on April 22, 2018: "My friend said, 'You have a BA, Masters and a…
“My friend swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital” (joke)
People sometimes swallow coins, and it's one of the oldest of American puns: "My friend swallowed some coins and was taken to the hospital. I asked the nurse about his condition, but she…
“My friend told me a joke about a TV controller. It wasn’t remotely funny”
A popular pun about the tv remote is: "My friend told me a joke about a TV controller. It wasn't remotely funny." "I told my TV controller a joke. It wasn't remotely…
“My friend told me she wouldn’t eat beef tongue cause it came out of a cow’s mouth. So I gave her an egg”
An old joke has it that a restaurant diner is looking for something to eat, and the waiter (or another diner) suggests tongue. "Oh no, I could never eat anything that came out of an…
“My friend tried to convince me ‘whey’ is spelled ‘whfey.’ There’s no f in whey”
"There's no fucking way" is sometimes given a pun with the word "whey." "There's no 'F' in 'whey'" was posted on Twitter by James Jillson…