“Johnny thought that H2O was H2SO4” (chemistry rhyme)
Water (H20) should not be confused with sulfuric acid (H2SO4). A rhyming aid was cited in 1894 and has long been popular with high school and college chemistry students: Our Willie passed away…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“Join a union, because its very unlikely three ghosts will appear and scare your boss”
"Unions, because it’s VERY unlikely three spirits will appear and scare your boss into doing the right thing" was posted on Twitter by IATSE // #IASolidarity on December 25, 2020, and…
“Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31”
"Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31" (or in a leap year, "Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31") is a jocular saying that has…
“Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31”
"Join the 3 day challenge. No alcohol on February 29, 30 and 31" (or in a leap year, "Join the 2 day challenge. No alcohol on February 30 and 31") is a jocular saying that has…
“Join the Army, travel the world, meet interesting people and kill them”
"Join the army, travel the world, meet interesting people and kill them" is an anti-war saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts and bumper stickers. "Join…
“Joined a ‘fear of buffets’ help group. I was warned against signing up, but I couldn’t help myself”
At a buffet, one helps one's self. "Just been to a 'fear of buffets' help group. I was warned against signing up but I couldn't help myself" is a joke that was posted…
“Jokes about bad pole-vaulters don’t seem to go over very well”
"I know a lot of jokes about bad pole-vaulters, but none of them seem to go over very well. Comment On This Pun!" was posted on Twitter by Just another Jokes on April 2, 2018. The joke…
“Jokes about German sausage are the wurst”
Wurst has the worst puns. "German sausage ads are the wurst" was cited on Twitter on September 23, 2009. "German sausage puns are the wurst" was cited on Twitter on December 4,…
“Jokes about white sugar are rare. Jokes about brown sugar—Demerara”
"Demerara" sugar sounds like "them are rarer." "There aren't that many jokes about white sugar. But jokes about brown sugar....demerara! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! credit to…
“Jonathan and Granny Smith fell in love and lived appley ever after”
Fairy tales often end with "happily ever after." "Appley/Apple-y ever after" or "Applely ever after" (apple + happily ever after) is an apple variation of this.…
“Jones” (a craving) and Great Jones Alley/Street
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Great Jones StreetGreat Jones Street is a street in New York City's NoHo district in Manhattan, essentially another name for 3rd Street between Broadway…
“José, can you see” (“Star-Spangled Banner” mondegreen)
"José, can you see" is a popular mondegreen of "O say can you see," the first line in Francis Scott Key's "Star-Spangled Banner" (the U.S. national anthem).…
“Journalism consists in buying white paper at two cents a pound and selling it at ten cents a pound”
"Journalism consists in buying white paper at two cents a pound and selling it at ten cents a pound" is a 19th century statement meaning that good journalism is what people will pay for.…
“Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving”
David Burge (who has blogged as Iowahawk) posted this now-famous remark about journalism on Twitter on May 9, 2013: "Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they…
“Journalism is literature in a hurry”
"Journalism is literature in a hurry" has been credited (since at least 1973) to British poet and cultural critic Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), but there's no evidence that he said it.…
“Journalism: A profession to explain to others what it personally does not understand”
"Journalism — a profession whose business it is to explain to others what it personally does not understand" is a quotation credited to Lord Northcliffe (1865-1922), a British newspaper…
“Journalists become journalists because they aren’t any good at math” (journalism adage)
"Journalists become journalists because they aren't good at math" is an old journalism adage. The adage is often brought up when a newspaper story involves math, such as charts and…
“Journalists do it daily”
A popular meme in the late 1970s was how various professions "do it" -- a mild sex pun. For example, "Divers Do It Deeper." A news media version is "Journalists Do It…
“Journalists Only Want 2 Things: 1. A Pulitzer Prize 2. Get killed by the CIA”
"Contrary to popular belief, the Pulitzer Prize isn't the highest award in journalism. It is being killed by the CIA" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the…
“Judge a doctor by how hard she/he tries to get you off meds”
"Judge a doctor by how hard she/he tries to get you off meds" (or "Judge your doctor by how hard he/she tries to get you off meds") is a saying that has been printed on many…