“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average”
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“If at first you don’t succeed, drink whiskey. You’ll be amazed how little you care”
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…
“If at first you donut succeed, fry, fry again”
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem from at least 1838. "If at first you donut succeed, try, try again" was cited on Twitter on May…
“If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do candy makers get?”/“Tic Tac toe.”
A riddle about Tic Tac mints is: Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get?A: Tic Tac toe. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 13, 2017. Similar jokes had been…
“If authoritarianism is on your side today, trust me, it won’t be tomorrow. #history”
"If authoritarianism is on your side today, trust me, it won't be tomorrow. #history" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "IF AUTHORITARIANISM IS ON YOUR SIDE TODAY,…
“If avocado is a fruit, is guacamole jam?”
Guacamole is made with avocados. Some people have pointed out that an avocado is a fruit, so this means that guacamole is a jam. Jams are made with added sugar, however, and no one seriously…
“If avocados and tomatoes are fruits, then guacamole is fruit salad”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsIf avocados and tomatoes are fruits, then guacamole is fruit salad.submitted February 17, 2017 by goatcoat Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsAvocados are…
“If bacon cannot solve your problem, you didn’t use enough bacon”
"If bacon cannot solve your problem. You didn't use enough bacon" is a bacon saying that was posted on Facebook by Cure & Simple on March 14, 2018. “Bacon cannot solve all your…
“If bacon doesn’t solve the problem, then more bacon must be added”
"If bacon doesn't solve the problem, then more bacon must be added" is a bacon saying that has been printed on many images. "If bacon does not solve the problem. Then more bacon…
“If baklava is still in the oven, it’s called bakmagma”
There is no "lava" in "baklava," but some people insist that there must be a "bakmagma." "Little known fact: baklava are properly called bakmagma before they come…
“If beer is liquid courage, then coffee must be liquid motivation”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If being in space for 3 minutes makes you an astronaut, then I’m a proctologist”
Blue Origin NS-31 was a sub-orbital spaceflight on April 14, 2025. It lasted only about 15 minutes, but the crew members were called "astronauts." This was posted on X/Twitter by Jeremy…
“If booze is liquid courage, then coffee is liquid initiative”
Alcohol has frequently been called “liquid courage.” "If alcohol is liquid courage, is caffeine liquid anxiety?" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on August 9, 2017. "If…
“If bread goes bad, we throw it away, If bananas go bad, we make bread out of them”
Bananas go bad fast, and many people use bad bananas in banana bread. This saying was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on November 28, 2017: "If bread goes bad we throw it away, If bananas…
“If butter companies stopped printing the measurements on the wrapper I would literally not know what to do with myself”
One stick of butter equals 8 tablespoons, or 1/4 pound, or 1/2 cup. The measurements are written on the packaging to make things easier. "butter hit the big leagues when they started printing…
“If by ‘balanced breakfast’ you mean a coffee followed by another coffee, then yes, I’ve had a balanced breakfast”
A "balanced breakfast" usually means a variety of breakfast items, such as eggs, bacon, cheese, oatmeal, cereal, milk, orange juice and coffee. To some people, a "balanced…
“If by ‘camping” you mean my hotel room will face the woods, then yes I’m up for a camping trip!”
"If by 'camping" you mean my hotel room will face the woods, then yes I'm up for a camping trip!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have…
“If by ‘crunches’ you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
“If by ‘crunches’ you mean the sound bacon makes when you eat it, then yes, I do crunches”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…
“If by ‘crunches’ you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes I do crunches”
"If by 'crunches' you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes, I do crunches" and "If by 'crunches' you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then…