“If an onion rings, answer it”
"If you hear an onion ring, answer it" (or "If an onion rings, answer it") is a nonsense saying. "IF AN ONION RINGS ANSWER IT" was printed in the St. Louis (MO)…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“If any non-rich people want to go to space for 10 minutes, I know a pretty good brownie recipe”
"if any non-rich people want to go to space for 10 minutes i know a pretty good brownie recipe" was posted on Twitter by Funny or Die on July 20, 2021. The joke refers to a…
“If anybody needs copies of Osteopath Weekly, I have back issues”
There have been several magazine puns on the term “back issues.” "I've been getting the periodical Osteopath weekly for years. I have a lot of back issues" was posted on Twitter…
“If anybody wants a list of all famous Bugs Bunny quotes, I can send it to you as a WhatsApp doc”
WhatsApp (an instant messaging and voice-over-IP service) has nothing to do with Bugs Bunny and his famous catchphrase "What's up, doc?," but there are jokes. "Cuál es la App…
“If anyone ever tells you you put too much parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them…”
"If anyone ever tells you you put too much parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life" is a jocular saying that has been…
“If anyone ever tries to sell you a transparent car wheel, steer clear”
"Steer clear" is an expression that usually does not involve the literal steering of an automobile, but there are jokes. "My friend said he was thinking of buying a car with a…
“If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me know”
"If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything please let me know" (or "If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me…
“If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything please let me know”
"If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything please let me know" (or "If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me…
“If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I'm a size window seat in plane tickets" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "If anyone…
“If anyone is shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I'm a size window seat in plane tickets" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "If anyone…
“If anyone is wondering why the pizza box reads, ‘Remove cardboard before baking,’ feel free to ask my 17yo son”
A frozen pizza box often states, "Remove cardboard before baking." This message might seem obvious to everyone, but it isn't. "I think we've evolved enough to not need…
“If anyone is wondering why the pizza box says, ‘Remove cardboard before baking,’ I found out why so you don’t have to”
A frozen pizza box often states, "Remove cardboard before baking." This message might seem obvious to everyone, but it isn't. "I think we've evolved enough to not need…
“If anyone needs copies of Osteopath Monthly, I have back issues”
There have been several magazine puns on the term “back issues.” "I've been getting the periodical Osteopath weekly for years. I have a lot of back issues" was posted on Twitter…
“If anyone tells you your dreams are silly, there’s a millionaire who invented the pool noodle”
"If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle" is a jocular line that has been printed on several…
“If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’m doing a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness”
"I'm running in a 0.0000005K run to raise awareness for laziness" was posted on Twitter by thotrey hepurn on February 16, 2017. That is, the lazy person is barely moving at all, just…
“If anything I post offends you, blame your parents for raising a little bitch”
"If anything I post offends you, blame your parents for raising a little bitch" and "If anything I post on my page offends you, blame your parents for raising a pussy" are…
“If anything I post on my page offends you, blame your parents for raising a pussy”
"If anything I post offends you, blame your parents for raising a little bitch" and "If anything I post on my page offends you, blame your parents for raising a pussy" are…
“If anything on the internet offends you, blame your parents for raising a pussy”
"If anything I post offends you, blame your parents for raising a little bitch" and "If anything I post on my page offends you, blame your parents for raising a pussy" are…
“If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” (joke)
"April showers bring May flowers" is a proverb that dates to the 16th century. A popular Thanksgiving joke is: Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?A:…
“If artists wear Sketchers, do linguists wear Converse?”
Converse shoes have nothing to do with conversations or conversing, but there are jokes. "What kind of shoes do linguists wear? converse" was posted on Reddit -- Funny on October 10,…