“I’m aging like a fine banana”
"Aging like fine wine" is a saying meaning that someone/something is getting better with age. Bananas spoil very quickly. "Aging like a fine banana" means that someone/something…
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs
“I’m allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink I break out in handcuffs”
"I'm allergic to alcohol. Every time I drink I break out in handcuffs" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have an allergy to alcohol; when I drink I…
“I’m allergic to food. I break out in fat”
"I'm allergic to food. I break out in fat" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. Newspapers.com12 April 1974, News-Herald (Port Clinton, OH), "Jottings…
“I’m allergic to green onions. Every time I eat them, I break out in chives”
"Hives" shouldn't be confused with "chives," but there are jokes. "And I have chives on my face. Great, I hate it when I break out in chives. Ugh" was posted on…
“I’m allergic to rice. I’m basmatic”
There's a difference between "asthmatic" (asthma) and "basmatic" (basmati rice), but there have been jokes. This was printed in the Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland) on…
“I’m allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm”
"I'm allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 25, 2012.…
“I’m already against the next war”
"I'm already against the next war" is an anti-war saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been on bumper stickers since at least 2006. "Bumpersnicker…
“I’m always being forced to do things I’m not qualified for…like being nice to others”
"The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people" and "I'm not qualified to be nice to stupid people" are jocular work sayings that have been printed on many…
“I’m always DTE (Down To Eat)”
"I'm Always DTE (Down To Eat)" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "DTE" is a variation on "DTF" (Down To Fuck). There is also "DTE" (Down…
“I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower”
Many people's ancestors arrived on the Mayflower ship that landed in America in 1620. There was no ship called the "Juneflower," but there are jokes. "I'm always late. My…
“I’m always losing things at work…my glasses, my keys, my will to live…”
"I'm always losing things at work...my glasses, my keys, my will to live..." is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate losing things at work,…
“I’m an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me”
"I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me" is a ocular food saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I’m an amateur crastinator. Someday I’ll turn pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“I’m an artist for the government. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m an artist. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December I’m eggnogstic”
"Eggnogstic" (eggnog + agnostic) is a jocular term that has been cited in print since at least 1885. "What do you call a religious skeptic drinking a common December beverage?…
“I’m an English major. You do the math”
“I’m an English major. You do the math” is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You do the math" is an expression that means "you figure it out," but sometimes…
“I’m an overacheeser”
The word "overacheeser" is a jocular formation of "overachiever" with "cheese" added. "I'm an overacheeser" has been printed on many images.…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a doctor”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…