The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many states deem liquor stores to be essential businesses. Some people drank a lot. "Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin.…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to stay at home in quarantine. Many family members got on each other's nerves. "Day 35 of the quarantine...Can you blink a little…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures and homeschooling. "Homeschooling day 3: The Principal called in a bomb threat" was posted on Twitter by PoppaDoo on March…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in school closures and homeschooling. "Homeschooling day 3: The Principal called in a bomb threat" was posted on Twitter by PoppaDoo on March…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. People would, however, leave the home briefly to take out the garbage. "'I got so excited about…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in home quarantines. People became more understanding of dogs. "End of Day 2 on lockdown and the dog is looking at me like 'SEE? This is why I…
"Day [X{ without {Y}: Lost hearing in my left/right eye" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Eyes don't help hearing, of course. The joke is that without coffee…
Many Jewish parents try to sent their children to a yeshiva (Jewish day school), but tuition is expensive. A popular joke in the Orthodox community is that day school tuition is the best form of…
There is daylight saving time (DST), but no one asked daylight its feelings in the matter. "What if the daylight didn't want to be saved?" was posted on Twitter by Jackie M. Briski…
Many holidays are highly commercialized -- from Valentine's Day to Halloween to Christmas. What about Daylight Saving Time? "'Daylight Savings' is just a holiday made up by the…
Many holidays are highly commercialized -- from Valentine's Day to Halloween to Christmas. What about Daylight Saving Time? "'Daylight Savings' is just a holiday made up by the…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down in their homes. People drank a lot of coffee and alcohol to get through it. "Days are now divided by coffee hours and…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made days flow together for many people. "Hours now don’t exist, days are split into 4 sections: Coffee, Midfood, Latefood & Sleep. Days don’t have…
Political campaigns target to win various groups, such as the Black vote or the Jewish vote or the Hispanic vote. Who wins the dead vote (i.e., voter fraud)? Chicago has had a reputation of dead…
"Deadlines spur action" (or "a deadline spurs action") is an old business adage of uncertain origin. If both sides to a negotiation know of a deadline, a deal is often struck…
"Deal with the devil if the devil has a constituency -- and don't complain about the heat" has been credited to science fiction and fantasy author C. J. Cherryh. The quotation has…
"Dear account balance: Wingardium Leviosa" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. It means that the speaker has a low bank account balance, and desires it to levitate…
"Dear animals, I'm sorry it took me so long" is a vegan saying (from a person who had been eating meat) that has been printed on many images. Authorship of the saying is unknown, but…
According to one joke, Apple iphones autocorrect "fucking" to "ducking." "I use the word 'fucking' all the time. Why does iPhone still autocorrect to ducking. No…
"Dear autocorrect, please stop changing my bad/rude words into nice words, you piece of shut!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You piece of shut" was…