“He’s so dumb, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test”
It's an old joke that a person is so dumb, "he/she stayed up all night studying for a urine test." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968, when it was a Polish joke.…
Nicknames/Slogans
“He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front”
"He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front" was said by American comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) about New York-born comedian and actor…
“He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. He left it at home. He’s texting his wife”
The Christmas song "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" (1934) contains the lyrics: "He's making a list And checking it twice; He's gonna find out who's naughty and…
“He/She makes coffee nervous” (a very energetic and nervous person)
Coffee has the well known effect of making people nervous, but an old joke reverses the process. "Ralph Font: 'I know a night club owner (Dario) who's so fidgety he makes coffee…
“Head in the oven, feet in the freezer” (statistician joke on “averaging”)
A popular joke about the statistical "average" involves the statistician who put his head in an oven and his feet in a freezer, saying, "On average, I feel fine." The joke…
“Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job”
People often seek a job of the "head" of something. There's a joke: "Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job." The joke was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2012.…
“Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job”
People often seek a job of the "head" of something. There's a joke: "Head of lettuce. That must be a boring job." The joke was posted on Twitter on June 2, 2012.…
“Head, shoulders, knees and toes” (exercise song)
"Head(s), shoulders, knees and toes" is an exercise song that is common in primary schools. Children touch the parts of their bodies that are mentioned in the song. "Eyes and ears…
“Heading into Costco, see you in $1200”
People buy in bulk and spend a lot of money at Costco stores. "Heading into Costco, see you in $500" was posted on X/Twitter by Midge on July 12, 2021. "Heading into Costco, see you…
“Headphones imply the existence of shoulderphones, kneephones, and toephones”
There are headphones, but other body parts do not have phones. "shoulderphones!!" was posted on Twitter by Gray on May 24, 2011. "I need new headphones shoulderphones kneephones…
“Headphones on. World off”
"Headphones on. World off" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been divided by either a comma or a period. "Not the best of days... headphones on. world…
“Headphones, shoulderphones, kneephones and toephones” (sung to “Head, shoulders, knees and toes”)
There are headphones, but other body parts do not have phones. "shoulderphones!!" was posted on Twitter by Gray on May 24, 2011. "I need new headphones shoulderphones kneephones…
“Heads in beds” (hospitality saying)
"Heads in beds" is hospitality industry lingo meaning occupied hotel and motel rooms. Tourist boards representing a city's hospitality industry try to attract visitors to the city…
“Heads or tails: The war machine wins”
It is often said that whether a Democrat or a Republican wins a presidential election, the war machine always wins. "Doesn't matter the party - the war machine wins" was posted on…
“Heads, I win; Tails, the government will bail me out”
When flipping a coin to decide an outcome, it's usually "Heads, I win; tails, I lose" or "Heads, I win; tails, you win." The dishonest saying is: "Heads, I win; tails,…
“Heads, shoulders, knees and toes” (exercise song)
"Head(s), shoulders, knees and toes" is an exercise song that is common in primary schools. Children touch the parts of their bodies that are mentioned in the song. "Eyes and ears…
“Heal the past, live the present, dream the future”
"Heal the past, live the present, dream the future" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1995. American graphic artist and…
“Health does not come from a shot”
"Health is not injected" is an anti-vaccination saying that has been printed on many images. Health might come from many things, such as good food and exercise, but not, according to this…
“Health insurance is cool cuz you get to pay a bunch of money each month for nothing…”
A statement about health insurance was posted on X/Twitter by Kevin McCaffrey on July 24, 2021, and received over 205,000 likes: "Health insurance is cool cuz you get to pay a bunch of money…
“Health is ingested. Not injected!”
"Health is not injected" is an anti-vaccination saying that has been printed on many images. Health might come from many things, such as good food and exercise, but not, according to this…