“My deer cloning operation has succeeded! I can finally make a quick buck”
Making a "quick buck" has nothing to do with deer, but there are jokes. "I think I've perfected a speedy way of cloning deer. I should make a quick buck" was posted on…
Nicknames/Slogans
“My dental plan is basically me chewing on the side of my mouth that doesn’t hurt”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My dental plan is, ‘I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on’”
Many people cannot afford to go to the dentist. To avoid dental pain, they chew on the other side of their mouth (the side that doesn't hurt). "Thinking of going back to my old dental…
“My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me, ‘Do you smoke or drink coffee?’”
A joke about stained teeth was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 23, 2020. "My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me 'Do you smoke or drink coffee?' I said ...…
“My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane”
“My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane” is a saying that has been printed on many images. The most popular image is a cartoon by David Sipress, and he…
“My desire to stay well-informed is at odds with my desire to stay sane”
“My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane” is a saying that has been printed on many images. The most popular image is a cartoon by David Sipress, and he…
“My dessert just threw itself off the table. It was a lemming meringue pie”
Lemon meringue pie shouldn't be confused with lemming meringue pie, but there are jokes. "Q. What is yellow and white, and throws itself off the dining table? A. A lemming meringue"…
“My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones”
A jocular "diet plan" was posted on X/Twitter by MELapalooza 🐈⚽️🎶🍾 on August 10, 2025: "My diet plan is sometimes when im eating chips I drop some on the floor and I…
“My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room”
"My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room" is a jocular one-line dessert saying that has been printed on images. "Tom introduced the concept of dinner stomach…
“My diving school has gone under”
A company that's bankrupt and closes is said to have "gone under" (as if buried). There are several diving company/school jokes. "Friend's had to cancel his deep sea diving…
“My doctor advised me against eating very burnt bread. I am black toast intolerant”
"Lactose intolerant” is sometimes jocularly called “black toast intolerant.” "My Daddy can't eat that toast, he is black toast intolerant" was posted on the newsgroup…
“My doctor said I need to eat more greens, so I’m switching to mint chocolate chip ice cream”
People are sometimes advised to eat more “greens” (such as vegetables). Mint chocolate ice cream -- which is "green" -- is usually not part of that diet, but there are jokes. "My…
“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
“My doctor said to stay away from trans fats, so I left tumblr”
Tumblr is a social networking website that has been popular with the LGBTQ community and with people who post recipes. "Trans fats" does not mean "fat transsexuals," but a joke…
“My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I took his advice with a pinch of salt”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- cleanjokesMy doctor told me to cut down on sodium. (self.cleanjokes)submitted March 15, 2018 by chacham2I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
“My doctor told me to drink a glass of wine after a hot bath…” (joke)
Supposedly, doctors sometimes advise patients to drink something (wine, carrot juice, lemonade or something else) after taking a hot bath. A popular joke was first published in The Humorist…
“My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said ‘less McDonald’s’”
"My doctor said I should eat more Taco Bell. He actually said 'Less McDonald's', but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant" was posted on Twitter by Hakim Givens on…
“My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting on the floor”
A doctor's instruction to "lower carbs" means to lower carbohydrate intake. but a joke misunderstands this. "My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting…
“My doctor told me to take up an activity that gets me out of the pub. So I’ve started smoking”
Most pubs do not allow smoking. A joke was posted on the Sickipedia website on January 30, 2012: "My doctor said I need to do something that gets me out of the pub. So I've started…
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror”
"I saw my doctor. He told me to watch my drinking," New York-based comedian Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) said in his act. "Now I drink in front of a mirror." It's not…