“I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake. It was a tiramisunami”
"Tiramisu" (a coffee-flavoured Italian dessert) and "tsunami" (a series of waves in a water body) are two foreign language words that are sometimes combined to form…
Nicknames/Slogans
“I was once a people person, but people ruined that for me. So now I’m a coffee person”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter ⒷⓊⒷⒷⓁⓎ T 🇨🇦☀️🫧 @smileitsfree44 I used to be a people person But people ruined that for me Now I’m a coffee person😏 Tread lightly…
“I was out on a date with a girl, when I asked her, ‘Do you spit or swallow?’” (wine tasting joke)
"Do you spit or swallow?" is a wine tasting question (and oral sex double entendre). "Wine tasting.. Where to ask a chick whether she spits or swallows is considered good…
“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’” (joke)
One of the top ten jokes at the 2011 Edinburgh Comedy Awards was: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting.' So we stopped playing…
“I was poor, I had to use old calendars for toilet paper. Now those days are behind me”
What do people do with old calendars? A joke was posted on Twitter by The Rudeman on April 16, 2013: "Once we were so poor, we only had old calendars to use as toilet paper. Now those days are…
“I was robbed at the gas station today!” (high gas prices joke)
An "I was robbed at the gas station" joke about high gas prices was popular in 2012, and then again in 2021. "Me:I was robbed at the gas station police: did you see who did it?…
“I was sad, then I saw food”
"I was sad, then I saw food" is a one-line food saying that has been printed on many images. "I was sad, but then I saw food. Now I feel better" was posted on Twitter on July…
“I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked ‘Add to cart’”
Online shopping often has the option "Add to cart." This cart doesn't involve a horse, but a joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 29, 2010: "I was shopping…
“I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian-looking fellow sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer…”
A politically incorrect bar joke from 2011 has an Asian-looking man enter a bar, sit next to the speaker and take a sip of beer. The speaker asks if the man knows any of the martial arts. The man…
“I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning…” (joke)
"I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself... I really need to wash some mugs" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 24, 2018. The joke is…
“I was sitting in traffic the other day. It’s probably why I was run over”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksTwo Nuns In A BathBy Geoff TibballsLondon, UK: Constable & Robinson2009Pg. ?: I was sitting in traffic the other day, which was probably why I got run…
“I was so drunk last night, when I got home I blew Chunks” (joke)
"I was so drunk last night, when I got home I blew Chunks" sounds like a harmless expression -- until the second line of the joke explains, "Chunks is my dog!" The joke was…
“I was terrible at spelling when I was at school. Brilliant at jografy, though”
"I was terrible at spelling when I was at school.Brilliant at mattermattics, though. http://bit.ly/1mM33vw via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh Stand Up on December 28, 2015.…
“I was terrible at spelling when I was at school. Brilliant at mattermattics, though”
"I was terrible at spelling when I was at school.Brilliant at mattermattics, though. http://bit.ly/1mM33vw via @sickipedia" was posted on Twitter by Fresh Stand Up on December 28, 2015.…
“I was the best man for my brother’s wedding in Paris…” (French toast joke)
The word "toast" can be misunderstood. "If you have a wedding in Paris, does the best man give a French toast?" was posted on Twitter by Alex Sanchez on January 15, 2012. This…
“I was thinking about going to the Metropolitan Opera, but I am Met-averse”
The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City if often called "the Met." The Metropolitan Opera at New York's Lincoln Center is also called "the Met." Are people who…
“I was thinking about starting an awning company, but that’s a pretty shady business to get into”
There are several jokes that making awnings is a "shady" business. "Because a man makes awnings it doesn't always follow that he is engaged in a shady business" was printed…
“I was thinking of running a marathon…” (joke)
"Running a marathon" usually means running in a marathon, not running the marathon. Jordan Brookes joked on Twitter on May 12, 2014: "I'd like to run a marathon but it seems…
“I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it’s all way over my head”
The stars are over our heads, but what about the study of astronomy? "RT @monkjail: I was thinking of studying astronomy, but I fear it's all a bit over my head" was posted on…
“I was thrown out of music school for plagiarism. I didn’t steal songs; I was just taking notes”
"Taking notes" usually means "making notes," not "taking" or "stealing" them. Several jokes involve music school and music "notes." "I once…