“Pets: Life’s apology for every crummy day ever”
"Pets: Life’s apology for every crappy day ever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People come home after a bad day at work (or school) and are greeted by their pets.…
Mile High City (Denver nickname)
“Pharma funds the media. The media funds your fears. Your fears fund your disease…”
"Pharma funds the media. The media funds your fears. Your fears fund your disease. Your disease funds pharma" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Pharma funds the…
“Pheidippides walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A marathon runner variation is: "A marathon runner walks into a bar. The bartender…
“Philosophies are questions that may never be answered. Religions are answers…”
"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may not be questioned”
"Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown.…
“Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad” is a popular saying. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a salad.…
“Philosophy majors ask why you want fries with that”
"Do you want fries with that?" is a popular question asked at many fast food restaurants. By extension, it's used in several jokes about liberal arts graduates who seemingly…
“Philosophy majors be like I got a thought due tomorrow”
People sometimes joke that philosophy majors work on thoughts. "Philosophy majors be like ugh i have a thought due tomorrow 😫" was posted on X/Twitter by king on October 30, 2019, and…
“Philosophy majors be like ugh I have a thought due tomorrow”
People sometimes joke that philosophy majors work on thoughts. "Philosophy majors be like ugh i have a thought due tomorrow 😫" was posted on X/Twitter by king on October 30, 2019, and…
“Phoney as a three-dollar bill” (“Queer as a three-dollar bill”)
Three-dollar bills were printed by various states in the 1800s, but there has never been a U.S. three-dollar bill. There are U.S. one-dollar bills and U.S. two-dollar bills. "Rufe Davis…
“Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you”
"Photographers are violent people. First they frame you, then they shoot you, then they hang you on the wall" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Physically walked inside of a bank today and picked up some paper checks. Might fuck around and chop some wood later…”
"Actually used cash today at a convenience store. Might chop some wood later. Maybe ride the horse into town to get some provisions" is a joke that has been printed on many images. In a…
“Pi Day is just a fake holiday created by math companies to sell more math”
"Pi Day is just a fake holiday created by math companies to sell more math" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Pi Day is March 14th (3/14), just as Pi is…
“Pibb Xtra is a poor man’s Dr Pepper”
The soft drink Mr. Pibb (originally introduced in the 1970s, and now called Pibb Xtra) has been compared to Dr Pepper (introduced in the 1880s). "Mr Pibb. pah. The poor man's Dr…
“Pick your poison” (“Choose your poison”)
Liquor was jocularly called "poison" in the 19th century. Bar patrons would select their "poison." "Nominate your poison" was cited in March 1864. "Name your…
“Picking up nickels in front of a steamroller”
"Picking up pennies/nickels/dimes/quarters in front of a bulldozer/steamroller" means steadily making investments for a small return, only to be eventually crushed (by a financial crash…
“Pickle juice isn’t juiced pickles”
You can squeeze and crush oranges to get orange juice, or apples to get apple juice, but pickle juice isn't from juiced pickles. "Yo where does pickle juice come from???" was posted…
“Pickles are just goth cucumbers”
Cacti and pickles have both been called "goth cucumbers." "Cactus is just a giant goth cucumber" was posted on Twitter by B0regasmic on May 17, 2015. "A cactus is just a…
“Pickpocket: that little pocket inside the right pocket on jeans that you put guitar picks in”
Many people put a guitar pick in their pocket, especially the small pocket in their jeans that was originally meant for a watch. "RETWEET if you use this pocket solely for guitar picks!…
“Pickup line to use at the hairdresser: ‘So, do you comb hair often?’”
"Do you comb hair often?" (a pun of "Do you come here often?") was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor.puns on November 19, 2000. "Do you comb hair often? @pokehq…