“Dear Black Friday, We all have big tvs. Put whiskey on sale”
Black Friday sales often have reduced price televisions, but most people need reduced price necessities -- and alcohol. "Dear Black Friday, We Got Plenty of Tv’s Put the Liquor on Sale"…
Food Festivals
“Dear Black Friday, We all have big tvs. Put whisky on sale”
Black Friday sales often have reduced price televisions, but most people need reduced price necessities -- and alcohol. "Dear Black Friday, We Got Plenty of Tv’s Put the Liquor on Sale"…
“Do you have a flavor?”/“La Croix: ‘I have the concept of a flavor.’”
La Croix Sparkling Water has many flavors, but some people describe them as just a "hint" or a "concept" of a flavor. "La Croix tastes like a hint of a flavor mixed with…
“Don’t argue with people on Facebook. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That’s probably who you’re arguing with”
"Don't argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That's probably who you're arguing with" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Don’t argue with people on Twitter. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That’s probably who you’re arguing with”
"Don't argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That's probably who you're arguing with" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Don’t argue with people on X. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That’s probably who you’re arguing with”
"Don't argue with people on social media. Every classroom had a kid that ate paste. That's probably who you're arguing with" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Earth Day is just a made up holiday to sell more earths”
Some people say, jokingly, that Earth Day (April 22nd) is just a made up holiday, like Valentine's Day, to sell more products. “@theguydf: Earth Day is just a made up holiday to sell…
“Fat chicks need to understand that wearing yoga pants is a privilege, not a right”
"Spandex is a privilege, not a right" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Fat chicks/girls need to understand that wearing yoga pants is a privilege, not a…
“For the amount of meat you get out of clam I feel like we could just leave em alone”
Some seafood has so little meat that it's hardly worth the effort to catch and cook. "Crab legs. Delicious, but too much work for the amount of meat you get out of them" was posted…
“Friends, sun, sand, and sea—that sounds like a summer to me”
“Friends, sun, sand, and sea -- that sounds like a summer to me" is a summer saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship of the saying is unknown. "FRIENDS, SUN, SAND AND…
“Government: An institution of war, theft, murder, rape and predation, the absence of which…”
"GOVERNMENT an institution of war, theft, murder, rape and predation, … the absence of which, it is said, would lead to disorder" was printed in "The Shaffer Dictionary" by…
“Her: You’re the coolest guy on Facebook. Me: Thanks mom.”
People usually want fans on social media. Guys often really want female fans, but not one's mother. "Her: You're the coolest guy on twitter. Me: Thanks mom" was posted on…
“Her: You’re the coolest guy on social media. Me: Thanks mom.”
People usually want fans on social media. Guys often really want female fans, but not one's mother. "Her: You're the coolest guy on twitter. Me: Thanks mom" was posted on…
“How do you prepare your turkey for Christmas?”/“Oh, I just tell him he’s going to die.”
"Preparing" a turkey usually means cooking instructions, but not according to a Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey joke. This was posted on the newsgroup alt.humor on December 21, 2002:…
“I bought my wife a lamp in the shape of a Pepsi bottle. She was soda lighted”
"So delighted" is sometimes joked as "soda-lighted." "I found out how to make a #lamp out of old #Pepsi #cans I'm #soda #lighted #LetsGetWordy" was posted on…
“I cook my turkey the old fashioned way. I let my mom do it”
"I (still) cook my turkey the old fashioned way. I let my mom do it" is a jocular Thanksgiving saying that has been printed on many images. Mom's cooking of a turkey on Thanksgiving…
“I didn’t gain an hour of sleep. I’m just up at 4:00 AM instead of 5:00 AM”
When people turn the clocks back one hour in the fall, it's often said that they get an extra hour of sleep. But they usually go to sleep on Saturday night and wake up on Sunday morning -- and…
“I didn’t gain an hour of sleep. I’m just up at 5:00 AM instead of 6:00 AM”
When people turn the clocks back one hour in the fall, it's often said that they get an extra hour of sleep. But they usually go to sleep on Saturday night and wake up on Sunday morning -- and…
“I didn’t gain an hour of sleep. I’m just up at 6:00 AM instead of 7:00 AM”
When people turn the clocks back one hour in the fall, it's often said that they get an extra hour of sleep. But they usually go to sleep on Saturday night and wake up on Sunday morning -- and…
“I didn’t gain an hour of sleep. I’m just up at 7:00 AM instead of 8:00 AM”
When people turn the clocks back one hour in the fall, it's often said that they get an extra hour of sleep. But they usually go to sleep on Saturday night and wake up on Sunday morning -- and…