“Me: Is it going to be hot or cold today? Texas: Yes”
Texas weather can be hot in the day and then get very cold at night, especially in the spring or the fall. Texas weather can also be hot or cold from one day to the next. "Is it going to be…
Food Festivals
“Me: Is it gonna be hot or cold today? Texas: Yeah”
Texas weather can be hot in the day and then get very cold at night, especially in the spring or the fall. Texas weather can also be hot or cold from one day to the next. "Is it going to be…
“Me: It’s not about how many times you fall… Cop: That’s not how field sobriety tests work.”
"It's not about how many times you fall (get knocked down), it's about how many times you get back up" is an old saying. A joke on the saying was posted on Twitter by Henpecked…
“Me: One slice of the goth lasagna, please. Cashier: That’s chocolate cake”
A chocolate layer cake has sometimes been called "goth lasagna." "Me: One slice of the goth lasagna, please. Cashier: That's chocolate cake" is a jocular saying that has…
“Me: Runs for 2 mins. My heart: If you don’t stop, I will.”
For many people, their heart will tell them to stop running. For out-of-shape people, this message comes early. "Me: Runs for 2 mins / My heart: If you don’t stop I will 😩😩😩"…
“Me: staying sober is easy with the power of prayer! Priest giving me communion for the 37th time this morning…”
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: Eucharist The Eucharist (/ˈjuːkərɪst/ YOO-kər-ist; from Koinē Greek: εὐχαριστία, romanized: evcharistía, lit. 'thanksgiving'), also…
“Me: This meeting could’ve been an email. Also me: (gets an email) Goddammit.”
Many employees often feel that a company meeting could have been avoided with an email -- and then they're reminded that they don't like emails, either. This was posted on Twitter by Alex…
“Me: This show is boring. Boss: Again, this is a Zoom conference.”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to work from home. Some companies used Zoom (a videotelephony and online chat service). For many workers, Zoom was a new experience. This joke…
“Me: What’s the wifi password? Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.”
Many bars provide wifi access for customers, although some people use the wifi service and purchase little or nothing. A joke was posted on Twitter by Ian Sausage on March 11, 2018: Me: What's…
“Me: Why am I so unlovable? Waiter: I meant questions about the menu.”
A waiter or waitress at a restaurant often asks if a diner has any questions -- that is, questions about the menu. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Nayele18 on January 15, 2025: "Me: Why…
“Me: Will it be hot, cold, sunny or rainy today? Spring: Yes”
"Me: Will it be hot, cold, sunny or rainy today? Spring: Yes" (or "Me: Will it be warm, cold, rainy, snowy or windy today? Spring: Yes") is a jocular spring saying that has been…
“Me: Will it be warm, cold, rainy, snowy or windy today? Spring: Yes”
"Me: Will it be hot, cold, sunny or rainy today? Spring: Yes" (or "Me: Will it be warm, cold, rainy, snowy or windy today? Spring: Yes") is a jocular spring saying that has been…
“Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle ‘farts’!”
"Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle 'farts'!" is a jocular one-line saying about ketchup bottles that has been printed on many images. "At Red Robin…
“Mean tweets imply the existence of median tweets and mode tweets”
Twitter has sought to address online hate, as expressed in "mean tweets." This has nothing to do with the terms "mean," "median" and "mode," but there are…
“Mean without caffeine”
"Mean without caffeine" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images -- especially coffee mugs. "I get mean without caffeine" was printed in the book Then Comes…
“Meanwhile, back at the ranch”
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch..." was written on a card in an old silent western film. It was an indication to the movie audience that the film's scene would be re-directed to back…
“Meat consumed as comfort food is also an emotional support animal”
"Meat consumed as comfort food is also an emotional support animal" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on November 7, 2022. The Showerthought received over 22,000 "up"…
“Meat is mentioned in the Bible 281 times. Tofu is mentioned zero. That is my peer reviewed study. Checkmate. Your move vegans”
Meat is mentioned about 281 times in the BIble. Tofu is never mentioned in the BIble. To some people, that’s reason enough to not become vegan. "Meat is mentioned 281 times in the Bible tofu…
“Meat is murder—tasty, tasty murder”
"Meat is murder" became a slogan of some vegetarians/vegans in the early 1980s. Carnivores (meat eaters) struck back with: "Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder." The carnivore…
“Meat is murder. Milk is misery”
"Meat is murder. Milk is misery" (or "Milk is misery and then murder") is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "He has a sign that was placed across the…