Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterAta Dirilgen@Ata_DirilgenText from my mom: Can you turn on the oven?My answer: I've done everything I can, the oven just doesnt find me sexually…
Mountain Dew is a carbonated soft drink that was invented in 1940. A popular joke on the name is: Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"Guy: "Yes, can I…
A zombie riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on October 19, 2021: Q: Can zombies do yoga?A: Of corpse knot! "Of corpse knot" is a pun on "of course not." Reddit --…
"Can't dance and it's too wet to plow" means the same as "might as well" (that is, there's nothing else one can do). The phrase is cited in Ken Kesey's…
"Can't even rob Peter to pay Paul anymore... Peter ain't got it either" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "To rob Peter to pay Paul" is an old saying…
A boxer who "can't fight/hit/punch his way out of a paper bag" is a very poor fighter. "From his appearance, one wouldn't think he was husky enough to punch his way out of…
"Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly" is a jocular one-line saying about wifi that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
A marksman who "can't hit the broad side (broadside) of a barn" is a very poor marksman. "You can't hit the broadside of a barn!" was cited in print in 1852. The idiom…
A person who "can't rub two pennies/nickels/dimes/quarters/dollars together" is a person who doesn't have much money. "Not in a position to rub two pennies together"…
Many people prepare a huge Thanksgiving feast, but one person (usually a daughter) doesn't eat much. "Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "Stay at home" was frequently advised. "can’t wait til they legalize outside" was…
"Can’t believe they let just anyone make babies but you gotta have a license to fucking fish" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The actor Keanu Reeves said in the…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic restricted air travel, and many people couldn't wait to be in an airplane again. "Can't wait to walk down the aisle someday... and hear those…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "Stay at home" was frequently advised. "can’t wait til they legalize outside" was…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many people quarantining themselves in their homes. Boredom resulted. "I slept 14 hours last night absolutely locked and fuckin loaded for a big…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "Stay at home" was frequently advised. "can’t wait til they legalize outside" was…
A joke about work is: "Can’t wait to get off work—then I can finally stop staring at this damn computer, and go stare at a different computer." The line was posted on Twitter by Colin…
Canada Dry is a brand of soft drinks, especially famous for its ginger ale. There is no "Canada Wet" or "Canada Moist," but there are jokes. "not to freak you out or…
Canada Dry is a brand of soft drinks, especially famous for its ginger ale. There is no "Canada Wet" or "Canada Moist," but there are jokes. "not to freak you out or…
"Yukon" sounds like "you can," and there are "All Yukon Eat" jokes. "Alaskan Crab Legs (...) ALL YUKON EAT!!" was in an advertisement in the Daily Press…