“About all you can do is dream of a white Christmas; it leaves most of us in the red”
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" is a famous line in Irving Berlin's classic Christmas song, "White Christmas" (1942). A "white Christmas" joke was cited…
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores
“About four minutes into any run I decide to work on my personality instead”
"About four minutes into my run, I've decided I want to work on my personality instead" is a joke that was posted on printed on many images. "I'll never look like that so…
“About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead”
"About four minutes into my run, I've decided I want to work on my personality instead" is a joke that was posted on printed on many images. "I'll never look like that so…
“About the time we think we can make both ends meet, somebody moves the ends”
"About the time we think we can make both ends meet, somebody moves the ends" has been credited to politician Herbert Hoover (1874-1964) and to writer Pansy Penner (1905-2000) in the…
“About to put on a suit and tie for the party. Yes, I’m dressing up for Halloween”
"Dress up" often involves a suit and tie, but for Halloween? "They told me to dress up for the halloween party, so i wore a suit and tie" was posted on Twitter by Augie on…
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
Entry in progress -- B.P. “Absinthe makes the fart grow stronger," “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder,” "Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers” and “Doctor, why do I toot…
“Absinthe makes the fart grow stronger”
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is an old proverb. There have been many jocular variations with "absinthe" (instead of "absence") and "fart" (instead…
“Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder”
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is a saying with classical Roman roots, but was popularized in English in T. H. Bayly's 1835 poem, "Isle of Beauty." "Absinthe…
“Absolute safety enslaves absolutely”
"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely" was written by Lord Acton (1834-1902). There have been many variants of this famous saying. "Absolute safety enslaves…
“Absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced to live in houses made of their own flesh”
Gingerbread men live in gingerbread houses. A one-line saying was posted on Twitter by "regluar name" on December 9, 2015: "Absolutely despicable that gingerbread men are forced…
“Absolutely wild that the doctor can prescribe you some medicine and then the insurance company can be like, ‘nah, not feeling it’”
A doctor can prescribe medicine, but that doesn't mean that the insurance company will pay for it. Many people don't think this makes any sense. This was posted on X/Twitter by Jesse…
“Abstinence is a good thing, but it should always be practiced in moderation”
"Abstinence is a good thing, but it should always be practiced in moderation" is a popular drinking saying of unknown authorship. The saying was said to be "from an old Irish…
“Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers”
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is an old proverb. "Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers" is a variation (printed on many images) that criticizes pedophile priests in…
“Abundance—Big party held in a bakery”
The word "abundance" does not mean "a bun dance," but there is a joke definition: "Abundance: Big party held in a bakery." The joke has been cited in print since 2000…
“Academia is like a pie-eating contest where the reward is more pie”
“Making partner (in a law firm) is like a pie-eating contest where the prize is more pie” is a popular law saying that might date to the 1970s. "As one editor aptly put it, 'Life at…
“Accept people as they are. Believe in what they can become”
"Accept people as they are. Believe in what they can become" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Billy Cox on March 25…
“Accidentally closed a browser with 20+ tabs opened…”
Is the internet comparable to the Great Library of Alexandria of the ancient world? This was posted on X/Twitter by Screaming Pectoriloquy (𝕖𝕩𝕖𝕔𝕦𝕥𝕖𝕕) on September 17, 2020,…
“Accidentally drank invisible ink… I’m now in hospital, waiting to be seen”
People who go to a hospital often wait to be seen, but what if being seen was the problem? "I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night. I'm now in hospital, waiting to be…
“Accidentally just closed 32 tabs on my computer browser…”
Is the internet comparable to the Great Library of Alexandria of the ancient world? This was posted on X/Twitter by Screaming Pectoriloquy (𝕖𝕩𝕖𝕔𝕦𝕥𝕖𝕕) on September 17, 2020,…
“Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 7”
“Never go shopping when you’re hungry” is a shopping adage that has been cited in print since at least 1971. "Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the…