“A dwarf walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dwarf version is: "A dwarf walks into a bar. The bar for this joke is set pretty…
1940s-1950s: Assorted Big Apple citations
“A dyslexic man walks into a bra” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A dyslexic man walks into a bra" is a joke about a joke, or a…
“A dyslexic robber runs into a bank and screams, ‘Air in the hands, mother stickers!’”
A bank robber might shout, "Hands in the air, motherfuckers! This is a stickup!" A jocular dyslexic version has been printed on many images. "No, but I can do you the one about the…
“A face for radio”
An attractive man or woman has a "face for the movies" or a "face for television." To say that someone has a "face for radio" (where that face is not seen) is to say…
“A Facebook stranger doesn’t like my opinion. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time”
Some people have told jokes about the inflated importance of Twitter/Facebook. "ProzacNation_: a stranger has just informed me that he has unfollowed me on twitter. please respect my privacy…
“A fairy tale is a horror story to prepare children for the newspapers”
Newspapers often headline stories about wars and murders. "A fairy tale is a horror story to prepare children for the newspapers" is a definition that has been cited in print since at…
“A fallen leaf is nothing more than a summer’s wave goodbye”
"A fallen leaf is nothing more than a summer's wave goodbye" (or "A falling leaf is summer's wave goodbye") is a seasonal saying that has been printed on many images.…
“A falling leaf is summer’s wave goodbye”
"A falling leaf is summer's wave goodbye" (or "A fallen leaf is nothing more than a summer's wave goodbye") is a seasonal saying that has been printed on many images.…
“A family checks into a hotel…” (joke)
There's a popular joke about the porn channels at some hotels: "A family checks into a hotel and the father tells the clerk, 'I hope the porn is disabled.' The clerk says,…
“A fanatic is one who won’t change his mind and won’t change the subject”
"A fanatic is one who won't change his mind and won't change the subject" is a well-known saying that's often attributed to Winston Churchill (1874-1965), but Churchill…
“A farmer once tried to sell me his bull. I didn’t buy it. He was charging too much”
Three jokes involve a bull and the pun of "charging too much." "We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much" was posted on Facebook…
“A fat person doesn’t eat what’s right, but eats what’s left”
"A fat person doesn't eat what's right, but eats what's left" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was posted on Twitter by…
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be”
"A father carries pictures where his money used to be" is a jocular line of unknown authorship. "A father is someone who carries his children's pictures where his money used to…
“A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be”
"A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be" is a saying that has been printed on many images. “A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a…
“A female janitor asked if I’d do some weed with her. I can’t deal with high maintenance women”
The term "high maintenance" usually has nothing to do with janitors, but there are jokes. "The janitor lady for my apartment building asked me out on a date & said she had some…
“A ferry is the poor man’s cruise ship”
A ferry is cheaper than a cruise ship. "A ferry is the poor man's cruise ship" has been said often, usually to describe either the Staten Island Ferry or the Alaska Marine Highway…
“A few oil wells make ranching a fine business”
"A few oil wells make ranching a fine business" is a Texas saying that has been said to date to the 1950s, when oil was discovered on many Texas ranches. "The farmers and ranchers…
“A figure of speech literally walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A figure of speech version is: "A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends…
“A file folder walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." One version is: "A file folder walks into a bar, orders a drink and says,…
“A filibuster is a long speech about nothing by an authority on the subject”
"A filibuster is a long speech about nothing by an authority on the subject" is a jocular definition of the filibuster. The definition was given in the "Comic Dictionary"…