“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run”

“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight, and too fat to run” is a witticism from Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915), writing in his magazine, The Philistine, in 1903. The quip has been included in several collections of sayings about conservatives.
     
 
Wikipedia: Elbert Hubbard
Elbert Green Hubbard (June 19, 1856 – May 7, 1915) was an American writer, publisher, artist, and philosopher. He was an influential exponent of the Arts and Crafts movement and is, perhaps, most famous for his essay A Message to Garcia.
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Hubbard edited and published two magazines, The Philistine and The Fra. The Philistine was bound in brown butcher paper and full of satire and whimsy. (Hubbard himself quipped that the cover was butcher paper because: “There is meat inside.”)
 
Google Books
Dental Digest
By Dental Protective Association of the United States
Volume 9, Number 8
August 1903
Pg. 1038:
“A CONSERVATIVE is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.”—Philistine.
     
Google Books
Parliamentary debates
By Victoria. Parliament (Australia)
Volume 105
1904
Pg. 124 (17 September 1903):
An American writer has recently said that a conservative is a man who is too timid to fight and too fat to run.
 
Google Books
The Philistine
Vo. 33, No. 4
September 1911
Pg. 125:
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight, and too fat to run.
 
Google Books
Selected writings of Elbert Hubbard:
His mintage of wisdom, coined from a life of love, laughter and work

By Elbert Hubbard
Chicago, IL: W. H. WIse & Co.
1923
Pg. 429:
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight, and too fat to run.
 
Google News Archive
18 January 1956, Spartanburg (SC) Herald, “Man Vs. Ego Vs. Wife’ By Dr. George W. Crane, pg. 4, col. 7:
This tendency to enshrine the ultra conservative “status quo” by sheer brute force and male fiat, was well understood by the late Elbert Hubbard who said:
 
“A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.”