“A diplomat is anyone who thinks twice before saying nothing”
"Diplomat: A gent who thinks twice before he says nothing" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least August 1953. Another version is, ""A diplomat is…
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus
“A diplomat’s life is made up of three ingredients: protocol, Geritol and alcohol”
"A diplomat's life is made up of three ingredients: protocol, Geritol and alcohol" was a popular saying of at least two statesmen in the 1950s and 1960s. (Geritol is a trademarked…
“A doctor walks into a bar…” (“hickory daiquiri doc” bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A form of this joke has a doctor entering a bar and ordering his usual daiquiri, but the…
“A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems”
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems" (or "A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems" is a saying about dogs that has been…
“A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly as it seems”
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems" (or "A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems" is a saying about dogs that has been…
“A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems”
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems" (or "A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems" is a saying about dogs that has been…
“A dog may be man’s best friend, but he won’t pick you up at the airport”
A dog has often been called "man's best friend." However, a dog cannot do many things that a best friend usually does, and there are jokes. "Yeah but will it pick you up at the…
“A dog may be your best friend, but they won’t pick you up at the airport”
A dog has often been called "man's best friend." However, a dog cannot do many things that a best friend usually does, and there are jokes. "Yeah but will it pick you up at the…
“A dog prepares you for kids. A cat prepares you for teenagers”
"Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Teenagers (and cats) can understand better than babies (and dogs), but…
“A dog walks into a telegram office…” (joke)
People don't send telegrams anymore. However, a "dog walks into a telegram/telegraph office" joke has been popular since at least 1984. Google BooksJokes: Outrageous bits, atrocious…
“A dollar-three-eighty”
"A dollar three-eighty" means a small (or unknown) amount, given in a nonsense language. The term appears in the Texas Crude (1984) slang collection and it has been described (below) as…
“A donut is just a dessert bagel”
Donuts/Doughnuts have been compared to bagels. "doughnuts = dessert bagels" was posted on Twitter by Stu Ruston on January 3, 2021. "'donuts are dessert bagels'-…
“A doughnut is just a dessert bagel”
Donuts/Doughnuts have been compared to bagels. "doughnuts = dessert bagels" was posted on Twitter by Stu Ruston on January 3, 2021. "'donuts are dessert bagels'-…
“A dressmaker sews what she gathers; a farmer gathers what he sows”
Entry in progress -- BP Newspapers.com6 September 1900, Grant County Tribune (Hyannis, NE), pg. 7, col. 3:A farmer gathers what he sows while a seamstress sews what she gathers. TwitterAltrincham…
“A drinking establishment for brass enthusiasts: HornPub”
Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. There is no HornPub, but there are jokes. "I'm launching a brass instrument sex fetish site soon. I call it HornPub" was…
“A drummer with good time doesn’t exist” (joke)
A popular joke meme involves Santa Claus and/or the Easter Bunny, a smart or honest (blonde, drummer, lawyer, politician, et al.) and a dumb or dishonest (blonde, drummer, lawyer, politician et…
“A drunk dyslexic wanks into a jar” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." “A dyslexic man walks into a bra” is a classic joke. Another "dyslexic" joke…
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts”
"A drunk(en) man's words are a sober man's thoughts" is a proverb usually listed without a source. "What is on a sober man's mind is on a drunken man's…
“A duck walks into a bar and asks, ‘Got any grapes?’” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." "A duck walks into a bar and asks, 'Got any grapes?'" is one of the…
“A duck walks into a bar and says, ‘Put it on my bill’” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular joke involves a duck who walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks…