“A dickhead walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dickhead version is: "A dickhead walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the…
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus
“A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit”
"A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit" (or, "Dieting is the penalty for exceeding the feed limit") is a food pun on the familiar "exceeding the speed…
“A diet is what helps a person gain weight more slowly”
"A diet is something that helps a person gain weight more slowly.—Bill Copeland" is a jocular line about dieting that was printed in February 1976 newspapers. "A diet is what helps…
“A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width”
"A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width" is a popular one-line saying about dieting. "Diet: When You Have To Go To Some Length To Change Your Width"…
“A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch”
Dieters are often told to "watch what you eat." Leonard Lyons' syndicated newspaper column "The Lyons Den" reported in May 1973 that the comic actress Hermione Gingold…
“A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries”
Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910), using the pen name Mark Twain, wrote in the book The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894): "It were not best that we should all think alike; it is…
“A digital ID is not to identify yourself. It is to track and trace your every move”
Digital ID has the advantage of convenience, but there are some privacy disadvantages. "A DIGITAL ID IS NOT TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF. IT'S TO TRACK AND TRACE YOUR EVERY MOVE" (shown on…
“A dining car is a chew-chew train”
"Chew-chew train" (for "choo-choo train") is an old joke. "This is presumably the dining car of a chew-chew train" was cited in the New York (NY) Times in 1916. A…
“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age”
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age" (or "...but forgets her age") is a jocular saying that has been cited in print…
“A diplomat is a person who can be disarming even though his country isn’t”
One definition of a diplomat comes from the Cold War: "A diplomat is a person who can be disarming even though his country isn't." The Saturday Evening Post of February 16, 1956…
“A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell so that you look forward to the trip”
"Diplomat -- one who can tell you to go to hades and make you look forward to the trip" has been cited in print since at least 1953 and is of unknown authorship. Caskie Stinnett…
“A diplomat is anyone who thinks twice before saying nothing”
"Diplomat: A gent who thinks twice before he says nothing" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least August 1953. Another version is, ""A diplomat is…
“A diplomat’s life is made up of three ingredients: protocol, Geritol and alcohol”
"A diplomat's life is made up of three ingredients: protocol, Geritol and alcohol" was a popular saying of at least two statesmen in the 1950s and 1960s. (Geritol is a trademarked…
“A doctor walks into a bar…” (“hickory daiquiri doc” bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A form of this joke has a doctor entering a bar and ordering his usual daiquiri, but the…
“A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems”
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems" (or "A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems" is a saying about dogs that has been…
“A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly as it seems”
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems" (or "A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems" is a saying about dogs that has been…
“A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems”
"A dog is one of the few things in life that is exactly what it seems" (or "A dog is one of the few things in life that is as it seems" is a saying about dogs that has been…
“A dog may be man’s best friend, but he won’t pick you up at the airport”
A dog has often been called "man's best friend." However, a dog cannot do many things that a best friend usually does, and there are jokes. "Yeah but will it pick you up at the…
“A dog may be your best friend, but they won’t pick you up at the airport”
A dog has often been called "man's best friend." However, a dog cannot do many things that a best friend usually does, and there are jokes. "Yeah but will it pick you up at the…
“A dog prepares you for kids. A cat prepares you for teenagers”
"Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Teenagers (and cats) can understand better than babies (and dogs), but…