“I rarely put orange slices in my beer. Once in a Blue Moon”
Blue Moion is a Belgian-style witbier brewed by MillerCoors. The beer is usually served with an orange slice. There are many "once in a Blue Moon" jokes. "I hardly ever eat orange…
Food/Drink
“I read old books because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down”
"I read old books because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A lot of talk about…
“I read recipes the same way I read science fiction” (joke)
American comedian Rita Rudner used a successful line in her routine by at least 2000: "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, that's…
“I read that a banana a day helps to keep your colon clean. I just wish they’d told me…” (joke)
A banana a day can help the colon. However, one should eat the banana -- and not attempt to directly insert it into the colon. "Maxwell said a banana a day is good for keeping your colon…
“I really don’t know how fast light travels, but it gets here too early in the morning”
How fast is the speed of light> "A California scientist is experimenting with the measurement of the speed of light. We bet he finds it gets here too early in the mornings" was printed…
“I really hope mailmen don’t start getting the Coronavirus. They’re really good carriers”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in a few jokes about "carriers." "Mailmen with coronavirus don’t actually show any symptoms; they’re just carriers" was posted on…
“I really love my fanbase…without it my fan would fall over”
Sports and entertainment stars have "fans," and there's a joke: "I really love my fanbase...without it my fan would fall over." The joke was posted to Twitter on December…
“I really shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there”
"I really shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "I probably…
“I really want to buy a supermarket checkout divider, but the cashier keeps putting it back”
The supermarket checkout dividers are not for sale, but a joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 13, 2013: "No matter how much I try and buy supermarket conveyor belt dividers,…
“I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I’m now the main stake holder”
A joke on the term "stakeholder" is: "I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder." The joke was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I’m now the main stake holder”
A joke on the term "stakeholder" is: "I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I'm now the main stake holder." The joke was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“I recently bought a bread knife. It’s not as good as stainless steel”
A "bread knife" cuts bread; the knife is not made of bread, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on July 19, 2019: "I recently bought a bread knife. It's…
“I recently came into a large sum of money” (joke)
"I recently came into a large sum of money" is the first line of a Not-Sate-For-Work joke. "I came into some money recently...............fussy bloody shopkeeper wouldn't take…
“I recently joined a support group for people who talk a lot. We call ourselves On and On Anon”
"'I talk too much,' Evan Davis admitted. 'I've joined a self-help group called On-and-On-Anon. Our meetings go forever'" was printed in the Lansing (MI) State…
“I recently opened a restaurant. I guess you could call me an entrée-preneur”
"Entrepreneur" is sometimes jocularly written as "entrée-preneur," especially for someone in the restaurant business (such as an entrepreneur who sells entrées). "THE…
“I recently passed a drug test, which is weird because I don’t recall eating one”
"@AuburnJokes: An Auburn player recently passed a drug test. Which was strange because he didn't remember eating one" was posted on Twitter by Michael D'Elia on April 29, 2012.…
“I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake. I feel like canoe person”
"every time I read the phrase 'I feel like a new person' I hear QP saying 'I feel like canoe person'" was posted on Twitter by BloodBrimmadome on December 2, 2017.…
“I recently took my apiary exam. I got a B”
The letter "B" should not be confused with a "bee," but there are jokes. "I failed my apiary exam. I did an impression of a wasp and got B-" was posted on Twitter by…
“I recently tried the fruitarian diet, where you can only eat things that fall from trees…”
"I decided to become a fruitarian! Meaning I only eat things that naturally fall from a tree! Yesterday I had 2 apples and an Owl!" was posted on Twitter by Sarah Jane Cruickshank on…
“I reckon the inventor of Ovaltine must be a malty millionaire by now”
Ovaltine is a brand of milk flavoring product made with malt extract. "I reckon the inventor of Ovaltine must be a malty millionaire by now" was posted on Twitter by Paul Eggleston on…