“I recently took my apiary exam. I got a B”
The letter "B" should not be confused with a "bee," but there are jokes. "I failed my apiary exam. I did an impression of a wasp and got B-" was posted on Twitter by…
Food/Drink
“I recently tried the fruitarian diet, where you can only eat things that fall from trees…”
"I decided to become a fruitarian! Meaning I only eat things that naturally fall from a tree! Yesterday I had 2 apples and an Owl!" was posted on Twitter by Sarah Jane Cruickshank on…
“I reckon the inventor of Ovaltine must be a malty millionaire by now”
Ovaltine is a brand of milk flavoring product made with malt extract. "I reckon the inventor of Ovaltine must be a malty millionaire by now" was posted on Twitter by Paul Eggleston on…
“I refuse to bookmark a website…” (joke)
A joke about bookmarks on the internet was posted on Twitter by Andrew Nadeau on March 7, 2022, and received over 114,200 likes: "I refuse to bookmark a website. I will simply use the far more…
“I refuse to drink tap water till it’s gone though my Brita filter that I haven’t changed”
Many people refuse to drink tap water until it’s gone though their Brita filter -- even though they haven’t changed that filter in years! This popular comment was posted on Twitter by Mac…
“I refuse to make my own sandwich. I rely on sub contractors”
Sub sandwich shops have trademarked the "sub contractor" name joke since the 1980s. "Not a fan of pun business names but a sandwich catering company named 'sub contractor'…
“I refuse to pay for Jewish bread. I’m a challah cost denier”
Challah is a bread of Ashkenazi Jewish origin. "What's the challah cost?" sounds like "What's the holocaust?", and there are jokes. "How much does that challah…
“I refuse to work with compost. It’s degrading”
"I refuse to work with compost, it's degrading..." is a jocular line that was posted on Twitter by Martin ‘Vaccinated’ Williams on May 2, 2014. "I refuse to work with…
“I reject the assertion that my family & I must be made defenseless for you & yours to feel safe”
"I reject the assertion that my family and I must be made defenseless for you and yours to feel safe" (or "I reject the assertion that my family must be made defenseless for you to…
“I reject the assertion that my family must be made defenseless for you to be safe”
"I reject the assertion that my family and I must be made defenseless for you and yours to feel safe" (or "I reject the assertion that my family must be made defenseless for you to…
“I reject the belief that I must be defenseless in order for you to feel safe”
"I REJECT THE BELIEF THAT I MUST BE DEFENSELESS IN ORDER FOR YOU TO FEEL SAFE (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook by Make Michigan Great Again on September 13, 2022. The post received…
“I relabeled all the jars in the spice rack at home. I’m not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin”
"I relabeled all the jars in my mom's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 22, 2019. "Thyme is cumin"…
“I relish pickles”
"Relish" is a pickled sauce, and it also means to eat with pleasure. "I relish pickles" was posted on Twitter by Jessa Sparks on March 26, 2010, and on Reddit -- Oneliners on…
“I rely on hotels so much I’ve actually become quite inn-dependent”
"If you rely on hotels you are actually quite inn dependent. http://bit.ly/100FrIv" was posted on Twitter by The Pun Gents on October 15, 2014. "Inn dependent" sounds like…
“I remember a time when people who got tested with no apparent symptoms were called hypochondriacs”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in many people getting tested weekly or monthly, even if they displayed no symptoms of any disease. This was posted on Twitter by Naomi Seibt on May 12,…
“I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s election night”
"I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's election night" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “@LinajkReturns: I remember when…
“I remember when I was broke. I’m still broke that’s why I remember so well”
"I remember when I was broke. I’m still broke that’s why I remember so well" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I remember when I was broke .. I’m still…
“I remember when I was poor. I’m still poor that’s why I remember so well”
Many people who are successful often tell about their poor beginnings. "I remember when I was poor. I’m still poor that’s why I remember so well" is a joke that was posted on Twitter…
“I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education”
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education" is a popular education epigram from American playwright Wilson Mizner (1876-1933). The quotation has been cited in print since…
“I run because I really like food”
"I run because I really like food/beer/chocolate/cookies/dessert/wine" has been printed on many T-shirts. The idea is that running burns off the calories of the food consumed. "I run…