"I used to wonder what it’d be like to read other people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account, and I’m over it" is a jocular Facebook saying that has been printed on many images.…
"Degrading" should not be confused with "de-grating," but there are jokes. "Sometimes I try to put shredded cheese back together, but then I feel like that's degrating…
"I had a life...but my job ate it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "Bumper sticker of the day: I had a life but my job ate it" was posted to…
"I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow" is a jocular saying about procrastination that has been printed on many images. "I had a lot of stuff to…
A popular mother-in-law joke was told in "The Lockhorns" comic strip in 1972: "JUST RETURNED FROM A PLEASURE TRIP -- DRIVING MY MOTHER-IN-LAW TO THE AIRPORT." The joke is…
A "ploughman's lunch" (a lunch that ploughmen in the United Kingdom like to eat) consists of cheese, pickle and bread. A popular joke is: "I had a ploughman's lunch the…
A joke about autocorrection is: "I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime." "Punchline" was changed to "lunchtime." The joke was posted on…
A shepherd's pie is a meat pie with a crust of mashed potato. A popular joke is: "I had a shepherd's pie for lunch. He was furious." "I ate a shepherd's pie for tea…
"I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought. They ricocheted off each other and I can't find either anymore" (or "I had a thought, but unfortunately I had another…
"I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought. They ricocheted off each other and I can't find either anymore" (or "I had a thought, but unfortunately I had another…
"Crackalackin'" is defined in a 2004 entry in the Urban Dictionary: "It's an upbeat way of asking someone how they are doing, and may cause one to crack a smile in…
"Crackalackin'" is defined in a 2004 entry in the Urban Dictionary: "It's an upbeat way of asking someone how they are doing, and may cause one to crack a smile in…
The Urban Dictionary defined "taste like ass" as "when something tastes bad" on March 19, 2003. "'I ate donkey for lunch. It tasted like Ass.' -…
African-American Muslim minister and human rights activist Malcolm X (1925-1965) was assassinated in Harlem's Audubon Ballroom on February 21, 1965. In 1987. New York Mayor Ed Koch re-named…
"Parking validation" usually refers to the parking slip that one gets when on entering a car park. A person can patronize a local business (such as going to a conference at hotel) and get…
"I had my patience tested. I'm negative" -- that is, the speaker has no patience -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Dumb…
Ghee is a class of clarified butter that originated in India. "He didn't understand what ghee is, but someone clarified it for him" was posted on Twitter by Ian Froeb on May 18,…
People sometimes get rude cashiers at stores. This was posted on Facebook by Jim Shaver on December 3, 2020: "I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today. I guess it's my own fault…
"Driving me bananas" usually means "driving me crazy," but some jokes involve literal driving of bananas. "First day running my family fruit and veg delivery service and my…
“I just flew in and boy, are my arms tired!” is a very old joke (1940s). The arms are tired from flapping so much (like a bird's wings). A variation of the joke was posted on Reddit--…