"I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The quote was posted on Twitter by Mr Roger Quimbly on…
"I get nostalgic when reversing my car. It always takes me back" is a car joke that was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on June 18, 2018. The joke was also posted on Reddit -- Oneliners and…
"I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why family and friends expect that for free" is a jocular line that has been printed on ecards. "I get paid to be nice to people at work. So…
"I give in to beer pressure" -- a beer pun on "peer pressure" -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I give into peer pressure" is another form…
How does one rate an eclipse? How many stars? "I score the eclipse, minus one star" was posted on Twitter on March 20, 2015. Reviewers of the August 21, 2017 solar eclipse were more…
"I go to the gym almost every day -- almost Monday, almost Tuesday..." is a joke spoken by someone who almost never goes to the gym. "I go to the gym almost every day. Almost Monday,…
To do something "religiously" usually means to do it regularly and well -- to please God. However, not everyone is religious. "Tell people you go to the gym religiously When they…
"I go to work, I make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me, and then I clock out" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I go to work, I make my coworkers wonder…
"Courtesy of @themiltonjones live tonight in St Albans: don't try googling 'lost medieval servant boy.' You'll get 'page not found'" was posted on Twitter by…
"I got a bill in the mail that said FINAL NOTICE. What a relief!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker is happy not to be bothered again about…
New York-based comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998) did a liquor commercial in 1972: “I got a case of Hoffman’s for my wife...that’s not a bad trade.” The line has had many variations.…
Customer service for a communications company such as Comcast or Spectrum can take a long time. A joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on May 8, 2017: "I got a job at Comcast and…
Customer service for a communications company such as Comcast or Spectrum can take a long time. A joke was posted on Twitter by Simon Holland on May 8, 2017: "I got a job at Comcast and…
To "make every second count" does not mean to "make every second Count Dracula," but there are jokes. "Bought a Dracula themed clock. Every second Count" was posted on…
"beheading" sounds like "be heading." "Going to an interview at a guillotine factory. I'll beheading there soon, maybe!" was posted on Twitter by Jay Gonzales on…
A joke about college rejection letters was posted on Twitter by "the name is Les" on November 18, 2018: "I got a rejection letter from the origami university today, I’m not sure…
"I got a sweater for Christmas, but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The line was posted to the newsgroup…
A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…
An invitation stating "black tie only" means that men must wear a black tie, but not only a black tie. "I got an invite to a wedding that said 'black tie only'. But when I…
"Studying abroad" shouldn't be confused with "studying a broad," but there are jokes. "I got arrested for studying abroad. The police called it stalking" was…