“Have Only Positive Expectations” (“hope” backronym)
"Have Only Positive Expectations" is a backronym (back acronym) of the word "hope" that has been printed on many images. The backronym was said by Lou Holtz, then the head…
Food/Drink
“Have saddle, will travel” (horse adage)
The television western Have Gun, Will Travel (1957-1963) popularized the form "have X, will travel," but the saying did appear earlier. Herb Meadow, the western's creator, said he…
“Have some patience. I’m screwing things up as fast as possible”
"Please be patient. I'm screwing things up as fast as I can" is a jocular one-line work saying that has been printed on several images. "Hey guys..please be patient. I'm…
“Have to love Easter, baby” (pun on “Hasta la vista, baby”)
"Hasta la vista, baby" is a famous line that actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. A holiday pun, "Have to love East, baby," has been printed…
“Have we checked all food to see if exploding them makes them into something better?”
"Have we checked all food to see if exploding them makes them into something better or did we just stop with corn" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The saying was…
“Have we tried throwing a politician into a volcano to appease the virus yet?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic had many people frustrated with politicians. "You shouldn’t be able to fuck up this bad as a politician without being thrown into a volcano" was…
“Have y’all ever tried doing the speed limit and thinking they can’t be serious”
"Y'all ever tried driving the speed limit and thought they can't be serious" -- that is, the official speed limit can seem very slow -- is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Have you been called conspiracy theorist in 2020? You may be entitled to an apology”
"Have you been called conspiracy theorist in 2020? You may be entitled to an apology" and "Have you or a loved one been called a conspiracy theorist? You may be entitled to an…
“Have you been traumatized by the toilet paper shortage? You may be entitled to constipation”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in panic buying -- and shortages -- of toilet paper. "HAVE YOU BEEN TRAUMATIZED BY THE SHORTAGE OF TOILET PAPER? YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO…
“Have you ever had to park like an asshole because the person next to you parked like an asshole?”
Sometimes a car parked imperfectly (over painted lines, for example) can cause other cars to park imperfectly. "I hate when you have to park like an idiot bc the person next to you parked like…
“Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?”
"Have you ever noticed how many towns are named after their water towers?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "How come so many small towns are named after…
“Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing”
"Tried Blindfolded archery ? you dont know what your missing" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Martyn' Taff 'Jones on December 5, 2011. "Just tried an amazing new…
“Have you ever wondered how just one little dog controls so many sheep? Fear”
"Have you ever wondered how just one little dog controls so many sheep? FEAR" (or "Ever wonder how one little dog controls so many larger and stronger sheep? FEAR") is a saying…
“Have you got anything smaller?” (taxi joke)
Taxi drivers often ask for small denominations of cash, and a NSFW joke refers to this. A woman gets into a taxi for a ride, and then says that she doesn't have money. She hikes up her dress…
“Have you guys tried General Tso Tso’s chicken? It’s alright”
General Tso's chicken (a dish popularized in New York City) isn't called "General Tso Tso's chicken," but there are some "so-so" jokes. "I had dinner in a…
“Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a leg”
The expression to cost "an arm and a leg" means something very expensive. A popular cannibal joke is: "Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a…
“Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the world’s cheese? The Hallouminati!”
"Hallouminati" (halloumi + Illuminati) is a jocular food portmanteau word. "I NEED cheese & I can't escape the feeling. Hallouminati want my mind, soul & my body. Cheesy…
“Have you heard about the game where you throw dice to win boats? Yachtzee!”
The dice game of Yahtzee has nothing to do with yachts, but there are jokes. "Yachtzee: What a child, or another person, may say when they see this type of boat" was posted on the…
“Have you heard about the guy who bowled three hundred and one?” (joke)
The maximum (perfect) score in bowling is 300. "Have you heard about the guy who bowled three hundred and one?" is an old joke. When someone says this is not possible, the answer is,…
“Have you heard about the new Canadian strain of Covid-19? Most people infected are eh symptomatic”
The >2019–20 coronavirus pandemic popularized he word "asymptomatic." A joke was that Canadians were "eh-symptomatic." "Stay away from us Canadians, we're all Eh…