“Whenever I want a Klondike bar, I just pay for it”
A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "When I want a Klondike…
Food/Drink
“Whenever I’m feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my chins up”
"Keep your chin up!" means to stay hopeful during difficult times. Fat people often have double chins. "Whenever I'm feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my…
“Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong”
"Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong" is a jocular line from someone who wants something more filling than salad. The saying was posted on…
“Whenever there’s a fire drill at IKEA everyone has to assemble outside”
IKEA sells furniture that usually requires assembly. "Whenever there’s a fire drill at IKEA everyone has to assemble outside" was posted on X/Twitter by Moose Allain Ꙭ on November 7,…
“Whenever you don’t know who the loser is in a transaction, then the loser is you”
"If you're at a poker table and you don't see a sucker, it's you." This gambling saying dates to at least 1982 and was possibly coined by Amarillo Slim Preston, a…
“Whenever you give the government the power to disarm the mentally ill, you give the government…”
Many people argue that the mentally ill shouldn't own guns, so gun owners should submit to psychological examination. This was posted on Twitter by Libertarian Party on March 28, 2023:…
“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision”
"Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision," American management consultant Peter Drucker (1909-2005) said in 1962. The quotation has been cited in…
“Whenever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat,’ think of the words ‘chemical shit storm’”
"Whenever you see the words 'fat-free' or 'low-fat,' think of the words 'chemical shit storm'" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“Where America Greets the World” (JFK Airport)
"Where America Greets the World" is the new slogan for JFK Airport. The slogan was made for JFK's 50th anniversary in 1998. Wikipedia: John F. Kennedy International AirportJohn F.…
“Where are average things built?”/“In the satisfactory.”
A pun about the words "factory" and "satisfactory" is: Q: Where are average things built?A: In the satisfactory. "Where are average things manufactured? The…
“Where are dead computer hackers buried?”/“In decrypt.”
A computer riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2020: Q: Where are dead computer hackers buried?A: In decrypt. "Decrypt" is a pun on "the crypt" and…
“Where are mathematicians buried?”/“The symmetry.”
A math riddle is: Q: Where are mathematicians buried?A: The symmetry. "Symmetry" sounds like "cemetery." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. tesMy favourite…
“Where are the customers’ yachts?”
"Where are the customers' yachts?" is a question asked by someone who saw only brokers' yachts at a yacht club. It's an old Wall Street remark. 29 October 1885, Forest and…
“Where are you celebrating the Ides of March?”/“Little Caesars!”
March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. Little Caesars is an American multinational chain…
“Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?”/“On a bed of lettuce.”
A hamburger riddle is: Q: Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? A: On a bed of lettuce! The joke was printed in the book One Hundred and One Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch.…
“Where can I buy a face mask that doesn’t smell like bad breath?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Can I find just one mask that doesn’t smell like bad breath?" was posted on Twitter by Padraic…
“Where can I buy seeds to plant a beer garden?”
The word "garden" usually evokes images of plants, such as tomato plants. A garden usually doesn't grow beer. "Where do you get the seeds to start a beer garden?" was…
“Where can I get Lini beans from? The recipe says use a can o’ Lini beans”
Cannellini beans are white kidney beans. A joke has "Cannellini beans" as "can of Lini beans." "Turns out there are no such thing as 'Lini beans.' I read the…
“Where can I get scrod?” (joke)
"Scrod" is a fish and not the passive pluperfect subjunctive of the word "screwed," but there are jokes. A version of an old poem was printed in Time magazine in 1962:…
“Where can you always find money?”/“In the dictionary.”
A popular money riddle is: Q: Where can you always find money?A: In the dictionary. Versions of the riddle have been cited in print since at least 1908 and 1913. 15 October 1908, The Kentucky Post…