“Prison walls are never built to scale”
Something "built to scale" doesn't literally mean "built to be scaled," but there are jokes. "Prison walls are never built to scale" was posted on the website Pun…
Food/Drink
“Private Parking. Unauthorized vehicles will be worked over with a sledgehammer…”
A jocular sign about parking has been cited in print since at least 2004 and printed on several images: "PRIVATE PARKING UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES WILL BE WORKED OVER WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER, FLIPPED…
“Pro Ecclesia, Pro Texana” (Baylor University motto)
"Pro Ecclesia, Pro Texana" ("for church, for state/Texas") is the motto on the seal of Baylor University in Waco. Baylor is a Baptist university, and the motto was put on a…
“Pro tip, meal prepping is a great way to ensure that you always have food that is cold, a little old, and not what you’re in the mood for”
Many people don't like meal prepping because the food is a little old and a person often develops a craving for something different. This was posted on X/Twitter by Pamela J. Hobart (the…
“Pro tip: Always take the day off after the day you return from vacation”
"Always take the day off after the day you return from vacation" is a work saying that was posted on X/Twitter -- the tweet is no longer there -- by MrsBundrige on July 18, 2021. Most…
“Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you never have to host a children’s birthday party again”
"Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you never have to host a children's birthday party again" is a saying that has been printed on many images A piñata is usually filled…
“Pro Tip: If you are at a nice restaurant and something on the menu is listed as ‘Market Price’, be sure to use a limit order to get a better deal”
Restaurants often put some items, such as seafood, as "market price" (abbreviated "MKT"). That menu item is usually very expensive. "You know a restaurant expensive when a…
“Pro tip: If you stir coconut oil into your kale, it makes it easier to scrape it into the trash”
"Pro tip: If you stir coconut oil into your kale, it makes it easier to scrape it into the trash" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people do not like kale.…
“Pro tip: You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go”
"You can't have a bad day at work if you don't go" is a work saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship of the saying is unknown. "You can't have a bad…
“Pro-tip: If you are at the courthouse, always check behind the toilets for bribe money that hasn’t been collected yet”
A jocular courthouse piece of advice was posted on X/Twitter by Canyou ⚜️ on March 25, 2024, and received over 162,000 likes: "Pro-tip: If you are at the courthouse, always check behind…
“Probe with bayonets”
"Probe with bayonets. If you encounter steel, withdraw. If you encounter mush, continue" is credited to Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin (1870-1924). THe book The Unknown Lenin: From the…
“Probiotics imply the existence of amateurbiotics”
There are "probiotics," but no "amateurbiotics" or casualbiotics" or "conbiotics" -- except in jokes. "I don't really want to pay for probiotics if I…
“Probiotics imply the existence of casualbiotics”
There are "probiotics," but no "amateurbiotics" or casualbiotics" or "conbiotics" -- except in jokes. "I don't really want to pay for probiotics if I…
“Probiotics imply the existence of conbiotics”
There are "probiotics," but no "amateurbiotics" or casualbiotics" or "conbiotics" -- except in jokes. "I don't really want to pay for probiotics if I…
“Problem with banker jokes - bankers don’t think they’re funny and others don’t think they’re jokes”
A joke is told about lawyer jokes: "The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes." This joke about lawyer…
“Problem with lawyer jokes - lawyers don’t think they’re funny and others don’t think they’re jokes”
A joke is told about lawyer jokes: "The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes." This joke about lawyer…
“Problem with propaganda is the past changes so quickly, you don’t know what will happen yesterday”
An old Soviet joke is that government propaganda got so bad, and the past was rewritten so much, that people didn't know what will happen yesterday. The form of the joke, however, became…
“Procaffinator, n., One who puts off tasks until after the first cup of coffee or tea”
"Procaffinator, n., One who puts off tasks until after the first cup of coffee or tea" -- a portmanteau of "procrastinator" and "caffeine" -- is a jocular coffee…
“Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere”
Processed food is generally believed to be bad, but this joke was posted on X/Twitter by furby hancock on May 14, 2023, and has been printed on several images: "Processed food was literally…
“Procrastidrinking: The art of drinking instead of doing something else you should be doing”
"Procrastidrinking" (procrastinating + drinking) is a portmanteau word that has been printed on many images. "Procrastidrinking The act of putting off work or other duties by…