“Never trust a homeless guy who’s selling warm lemonade to you”
A joke about New York City "lemonade" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia_Feed on March 11, 2013: "I've learned one thing after my trip to New York. Never trust a homeless guy…
Food/Drink
“Never trust a human who isn’t kind to animals”
"Never trust anyone/someone who isn't kind to animals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Never trust a person that isn't kind to animals. Scientific…
“Never trust a person who chooses a table over a booth”
A restaurant often gives a dine the choice of having a table o a booth. A large group of people might choose the table, and a couple dating might choose the booth. "Is there anyone that…
“Never trust a person who isn’t kind to animals”
"Never trust anyone/someone who isn't kind to animals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Never trust a person that isn't kind to animals. Scientific…
“Never trust a person who pours the milk before pouring the cereal”
"Never trust someone who pours milk in their bowl before the cereal" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Most people pour the cereal in the bowl first, then the milk.…
“Never trust a poor economist”
"Never trust a poor economist" is an infrequently used saying. If an economist is so good, why doesn't he or she take the advice and become rich? "Never trust a skinny…
“Never trust a skinny chef”
"Never trust a skinny chef" (or "Never trust a skinny cook") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The implication is that a skinny chef doesn't eat much of his…
“Never trust a skinny ice cream man”
"Never trust a skinny ice cream maker" was said by Ben Cohen (co-founder of Ben & Jerry's) from at least 1991. The popular version of the quote is the slightly incorrect…
“Never trust a warm front” (weather adage)
"Never trust a warm front" is a catchphrase of Dick Goddard, a long-time meteorologist at WJW-TV (Cleveland, OH). Warm fronts are unpredictable with the amount of precipitation they can…
“Never trust an acupuncturist. They’re backstabbers”
"Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers" is a classic joke about acupuncture. The joke was posted on the website "Pun of the Day" on October 28,…
“Never trust an electrician with fuzzy hair”
"Never trust an electrician with fuzzy hair" is a joke. The fuzzy hair may mean that he has been shocked. "Never trust an Electrician with fuzzy hair" was posted on Sickipedia…
“Never trust anyone named Chris. If Chris crossed applesauce, what do you think he’ll do to you?”
Wiktionary: criss-cross applesauce Adverb criss-cross applesauce (not comparable) 1. (childish, US, regional, idiomatic) (of sitting): Cross-legged. Sit criss-cross applesauce. Usage notes…
“Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee”
"Never trust anyone who doesn't drink coffee" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm all for drinking coffee, never trust anyone who doesn't drink…
“Never trust anyone who isn’t kind to animals”
"Never trust anyone/someone who isn't kind to animals" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Never trust a person that isn't kind to animals. Scientific…
“Never trust anyone who orders a medium pizza”
Many people cannot understand how anyone orders a medium pizza. One should always order a large pizza, even if there is leftover pizza. "@FabMissK: 'Pl[a]ybook is like a medium pizza. Who…
“Never trust anyone who smiles before their first cup of coffee”
"Never trust anyone who smiles before their first cup of coffee" is a one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Never trust anyone who smiles before morning…
“Never trust anyone who smiles on a Monday”
"Never trust anyone who smiles on a Monday" is a saying that has been printed on several images. Monday is the traditional start to the work week. "Never trust anyone who smiles…
“Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning”
"Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning" is a one-line saying that is usually work-related. The saying was posted on Twitter by Men's Humor on April 9, 2013.…
“Never trust anyone who spells gonorrhea correct on the first try”
"Gonorrhea" can be a difficult word to spell. The joke is to be wary of someone who can spell it -- that person might have had it. "Dating Tip 101 :Never trust someone that spells…
“Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf”
"Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf" (or "Never argue with someone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf") is a saying that has been printed on many…