Parents often tell their children that they can become anyone they want to be. This is not meant to be taken literally. "As a young child my mum told me I could be anybody I wanted to be.…
"My paycheck says I have a good job. My bills say I need to do better" is a saying that means the speaker's paycheck is not covering the bills. The saying has been popular since…
"My pee smells like coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on an ecard by Someecards. "In the restroom. My pee smells like coffee. TMI?" was posted on Twitter by Alex…
"My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on November…
"Scent" shouldn't be confused with "cent," but there are jokes. "My candle store got robbed. They took every scent I had" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on…
Two images by Declaration of Memes show people with guns. "My personal beliefs are somewhere between all violence is wrong and come try me" was posted on Twitter by Declaration of Memes…
"My personal style is best described as 'didn't expect to get out of the car'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people travel in their cars, but do…
"Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Don't…
A joke about auto-correction was posted on Twitter by Shari VanderWerf on May 15, 2010: "My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid." TwitterShari…
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
When a person doesn't respond to a text, is that intentional or is that person just away from a phone? "My phone is always in my hand so if you think I’m ignoring you, I am" is a…
Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…
Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…
Many people mistakenly leave their phones on when they're put back in a pocket -- and the phone films that pocket. "My phone just filmed a 3/5/6 hour documentary about life in/inside my…
"My plan for today? Same as always. Drink coffee and be sexy" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "My plan for the day? Same as always: Drink COFFEE and be…
Two images by Declaration of Memes show people with guns. "My personal beliefs are somewhere between all violence is wrong and come try me" was posted on Twitter by Declaration of Memes…
"My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow" -- "Achilles' heel" is correct -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"My memes are like your ex. Stolen and passed around" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Memes getting passed around like my ex" was posted on Facebook by Tuguy…
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- Dadjokes Posted by u/Brucemoose1 October 14, 2020Recently I’ve had to remove several of my posts.Someone took a fence. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by…