“Just turned wine into vomit. Your move, Jesus”
The Gospel of John describes a miracle of Jesus -- the transformation of water into wine. "RT @jenfunkyjen Jesus turned water into wine. I'm going to turn decade-old boxed wine into…
Food/Drink
“Just walked past a sign that read, ‘This fire door is alarmed’” (joke)
"The fire door is alarmed" is a typical building sign, but it's sometimes joked that the door is "alarmed" because it has a human personality. "So I passed a door with…
“Just when I’m on the verge of growing cynical about our society I see an old woman smile and…”
The "woke" concept of a pregnant man has been the subject of humor. "People are cynical about today’s society but just this morning I saw an old woman give up her seat for a…
“Just when you find the key to the market, they change the locks”
"Just when you find the key to the market, they change the locks" is an old Wall Street adage. "The trouble with some guys when they give you the keys to the city they change the…
“Justice is a dish best served cold” (otherwise, just-ice would probably melt)
"Revenge is a dish best served cold" is an old proverb. A variation was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 2, 2017: "Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it'd…
“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are”
"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It is usually credited to Benjamin Franklin…
“Kale has negative calories because its caloric count is less than the energy expended throwing it up”
Many people do not like to eat kale. There are many jokes about eating kale. "Kale is a negative-calorie food because you get less energy from eating it than it takes to never shut up about…
“Kale is a negative calorie food, meaning the kale itself contains fewer calories than your body uses to throw it up…”
Many people do not like to eat kale. There are many jokes about eating kale. "Kale is a negative-calorie food because you get less energy from eating it than it takes to never shut up about…
“Kale is just angry lettuce”
Kale has been called "angry lettuce." "Quoteworthy from today's @DennisDMZ: 'Kale is like angry lettuce'" was posted on X/Twitter by Angela on April 20, 2010.…
“Kale is just collard greens for white people”
Kale has been compared to collard greens. "A friend of mine once told me that kale is like collard greens for white people. Probably true" was posted on Twitter by DJ Dharma on May 1,…
“Kale is just hipster lettuce”
Kale became popular since the 1990s. "Kale is just hipster lettuce" is a common saying. "'Kale is hipster lettuce'- @spak with the quote of the night" was posted on…
“Kale is lettuce with an attitude”
Kale has been called "angry lettuce." "Quoteworthy from today's @DennisDMZ: 'Kale is like angry lettuce'" was posted on X/Twitter by Angela on April 20, 2010.…
“Kale is so versatile, it can literally fit into any trash can”
"Kale is so versatile and yummy #Foodie" was posted on Twitter by ExaltedWomen on May 27, 2010. "Kale is so versatile they're delicious in salads, soups, and even smoothies.…
“Kale is so versatile. You can add it to pretty much any dish if you’re looking to ruin it”
"Kale is so versatile and yummy #Foodie" was posted on Twitter by ExaltedWomen on May 27, 2010. "Kale is so versatile they're delicious in salads, soups, and even smoothies.…
“Kale is so versatile… it literally fits into any size trash can”
"Kale is so versatile and yummy #Foodie" was posted on Twitter by ExaltedWomen on May 27, 2010. "Kale is so versatile they're delicious in salads, soups, and even smoothies.…
“Kale is so versatile”
"Kale is so versatile and yummy #Foodie" was posted on Twitter by ExaltedWomen on May 27, 2010. "Kale is so versatile they're delicious in salads, soups, and even smoothies.…
“Kale tastes like I’d rather be fat”
"Kale tastes like I'd rather be fat" (or "This kale salad tastes like I'd rather be fat") is a saying that has been printed on many images. "This green smoothie w…
“Karate is just an aggressive way of making people smell your feet”
Karate often involves kicks to the face. "Karate is just a violent way of making people smell your feet" (or "Karate is just an aggressive way of making people smell your feet")…
“Karma is a bitch”
"Karma is a bitch" probably relates to the sayings "life is a bitch" and "payback is a bitch." The "karma" in the saying is a combination of "life"…
“Katz’s Never Kloses” (Katz’s Deli and Bar slogan)
"Katz's Never Kloses" was the famous slogan of Katz's Deli and Bar, started by Marc Katz in 1979 at West 6th Street in Austin. It went 24/7 in 1983. There was also a Houston…